


Broken Down But Not (Quite) Defeated

by allyouneedislove67



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Buck gets attacked, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Firehouse 118 Family (9-1-1), Gen, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, I'm sorry if the tags suck this is my first time tagging ever please go easy on me, M/M, Major Character Injury, Protective 118
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24815008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyouneedislove67/pseuds/allyouneedislove67
Summary: Buck knew that not everyone was completely over the lawsuit.He knew for the most part that his team and those most important to him have forgiven him for everything that happened and their bonds are now stronger than ever. However, Buck also knew that there were some fellow firefighters who liked to hold grudges.He just never thought those grudges would go beyond angry glares and cold shoulders.-Takes place roughly after Season 3 so spoilers if you haven't seen the whole show so far
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Howie "Chimney" Han, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Original Male Character(s), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 139
Kudos: 472





	1. Exhaustion

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! My name is Abbey and this is my very first fic ever! As a newer fanfiction writer, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated and I hope you guys enjoy this story. Also, sorry in advance for any mistakes, I'll do my best to do this properly! I'm also completely new to formatting so i really hope it works out!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do NOT own 9-1-1 or any of its characters

* * *

The 118 crew had just gotten back from a relatively average call.

Firefighters Johnston and Kingsley watched as the team slowly got out of the truck, the youngest of the bunch immediately drawing their eye as always. They watched as Buck made his way to the locker room, the other members of the team seemingly going up to the loft to get ready for lunch before the alarm rang again. A wicked smile crept its way onto Kingsley's face as his eyes glued themselves to Buck's ass receding into the locker room. Johnston and Kingsley shared a look, knowing their plain could commence.

* * *

Buck got out of the truck with a small smile on his face. It had been somewhat of a rough week for him, but he was looking forward to the plans he had made with Eddie once the shift ended. They planned on relaxing with Christopher and eating some takeout from the good Italian place down the street. His thoughts had been clouded with doubt recently, and he had been on edge all week. He glanced over at Eddie, watching as his soft brown eyes lit up at the joke Chim told as they headed up the stairs to the loft. 

"You coming Buckaroo?" Hen asked, snapping Buck out his thoughts. 

"Yeah, I'll up in a few. I'm gonna catch a quick shower before lunch." Buck replied.

"Alright, but you better hurry, you know how Bobby can get." Buck laughed at Hen's jab, and shot her a slight smile as he moved toward the locker room, not noticing the two men staring lustfully at him from the corner of the firehouse.

* * *

Buck all but collapsed on the bench, exhaustion beginning to settle in his bones. The last call hadn't been too rough, but he was just so tired. He yawned, raising his arms, his shirt pulling up to reveal the small of his back. He brought them down with a sigh, scrubbing a hand over his face. 

Thoughts of the lawsuit had been weighing heavily on him this past week. He knew his friends and family said they had forgiven him, but he couldn't help the doubt that lingered in the back of his mind. His thoughts drifted to Eddie, wondering if he trusted him in the way he said he did.

Would the team leave him?

Would Bobby fire him if he knew about his chronic pain? 

Would Eddie keep him away from Chris?

He could spend hours making up firings and anger filled speeches, but a small part of him knew that it wouldn't happen. 

He thumbed his birthmark, hanging his head in exhaustion. His mind drifted to some of the other firefighters at the station. He knew that most of them were either uneffected by the lawsuit, or they had forgiven him for what happened, but there were a few that were unhappy that he had been allowed back. Buck shook his head, stripping off his boots before he heard footsteps behind him. 

"Is lunch already done? Will you tell Bobby that I'll be up in a few, please?" Buck asked, assuming it was Eddie or Hen behind him. 

"Oh, you won't be joining them for lunch anytime soon." A voice rang out. 

Buck whipped around, seeing two men blocking the entrance of the locker room. Buck thought he was tall, but he made sure not to use his stature as an intimidation tactic. Firefighter Kingsley, however, loved using his height to scare and intimidate others. 

"Johnston, Kingsley, what do you guys want? I just want to take a quick shower before the next call, so if you don't mind, I'm gonna go." Buck gestured to the shower with his head, moving to grab his other clothes from his locker. 

A hand latched itself onto his left wrist, retching his arm back, his shoulder letting out a sickly 'pop' sound. He went to scream in pain, only for Kingsley to slam him into the lockers, masking the gasp that escaped his lips. 

"What we want, Buck," Kingsley's voice whispered in his ear, "is you." 

* * *

Sergeant Grant strolled casually into the station, taking her sunglasses off as she entered. She gazed around, always in awe of how clean the station managed to stay. Her eyes finally landed on her husband and the rest of the people she had come to love. 

"Hey 'Thena, come join us!" Chimney's voice yelled over the banister.

She jogged up the stairs, going over to greet her husband with a kiss. Chimney and Hen made gagging noises behind them, while Eddie rolled his eyes at their antics and plopped down on the couch with an exaggerated sigh. She watched the team closely, noticing they were missing someone. 

"Where's our Buckaroo at?" Athena asked. 

"Oh he's in the locker room. Has to make sure his hair looks pretty before lunch." Eddie's voice replied, a fond tone making its way in. 

Athena grinned at the love the man had for Buck. Despite their rocky beginning, she loved the man like another son. She adored when he let his adorable curls free, or when his grin lit up like Christmas lights. She smiled at the memories, knowing that the boy couldn't make them any happier. She knew that everything had been rough on him, but she was glad he was doing better ever since he got his closure with Abby. 

"I wasn't expecting you today." Bobby said, his loving face gazing down at her.

"Well, considering it is my lunch break, I wanted to stop by and see some of my favorite people." 

She kissed Bobby again, moving to break up the argument Hen and Chim had found themselves in. The group laughed, perfectly content with waiting for a delicious lunch to be ready. They quieted down, breaking into small talk amongst themselves. They talked about the kids, Eddie explaining that him and Buck had taken Christopher out to the park last week. Everything was nice, the atmosphere warm and loving. 

Suddenly, a pained scream pierced the air. 


	2. The Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tears streamed down his face. He couldn't believe this was happening. After everything, the truck, the embolism, the tsunami, and now this? He just couldn't understand why someone, fellow firefighters no less, would do something like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for all the positive feedback on the last chapter! Also, warning on this chapter. There is a graphic depiction of violence and sexual assault in this chapter, so if you do not like or get easily upset at these types of things, PLEASE DO NOT READ. Anyway, on to the chapter!

* * *

Buck's mind was racing. He didn't know what to do, hell he didn't know how to breathe. Why were they doing this to him? Why, why, why? 

"What do you guys want?" Buck choked out.

"We told you Buck, we want you. How hard is that to understand?" Kingsley's voice spewed like venom. "You act like a whore. Always flaunting your body to everyone in the station," He paused, as if in thought, "Did you have to sleep with Captain Nash to get back here? Or was it all the higher ups instead?"

Buck flinched at his words. He didn't flaunt his body, did he?

"I'm not a whore." Buck gritted between his teeth. God, the word felt disgusting leaving his mouth. 

"Everyone else seems to think so." He heard Johnston speak, coming beside him.

Buck had noticed that Kingsley had seemed to be in control during the encounter. He stored the thought for later, coming out of his stupor when Kingsley slammed him against the locker. This time however, his head snapped against the metal, leaving a gash in its wake on the right side of his face. The blood ran down his face, the two men laughing at him when they saw it. 

Kingsley kicked Buck's bad leg, throwing him down to the ground as it buckled. He landed on his back with a hard thud, Kingsley quickly putting his full body weight on his legs. Buck struggled against the weight, his hands scrambling for purchase as Kingsley fought to pin them down. In his peripheral vision, he saw Johnston rifiling through a tool box that lay in the corner of the locker room. Buck heard him let out a triumphant sound as he apparently found what he was looking for. 

He saw the glint of metal against the light. 

"Hand it here." Kingsley ordered. 

Buck watched, still struggling under the weight, as Johnston handed the box cutter to Kingsley, before moving to hold his arms down. He felt a tear escape his eye, mixing with the blood streaming down his face. Buck went to scream, before a rag from the tool box was stuffed in his mouth. 

"We don't need you screaming, now do we? Don't worry, your mouth will be occupied with something else very soon." Johnston spat. 

Kingsley brandished the box cutter, extending the blade as far as it could go. Buck saw the sadistic glint in his eye as he hungrily looked down at him. He brought the box cutter down and started to slice away at his clothing, leaving little cuts along his torso everytime Buck tried to escape. Buck's eyes bulged as he realized just how bad the situation was. His pleas were muffled by the gag, hearing one of the men laugh at his struggle. 

The coldness of the air hit his skin first as his shirts were ripped from his body. Buck mourned slightly at the loss of his favorite undershirt. He strained, seeing Kingsley making his way to his belt. He scrunched his eyes closed, not wanting to see the look on the man's face. He felt his pants being cut away, small nicks beginnning to litter his legs, and kicked out as Kingsley had to shift his weight to get them off. 

"You might not want to do that, bitch." Kingsley hissed, one of his hands shooting up to squeeze Buck's neck, effectively stopping the young man's struggle as he fought to breathe even more. 

Buck felt his pants and socks torn away from his body, the crisp chill of the air encasing his whole body. He was left in his boxers, scared and straining against his attackers. His legs shot out again on instinct when he felt Kingsley's hand run themselves up and down his body as he straddled him. He let out a muffled cry when the box cutter was buried in his side. 

"I told you, you didn't want to do that," Kingsley said, twisting the blade inside Buck, "Maybe that'll show you." 

Blood gushed from the wound as the blade was ripped out. Buck sobbed from behind his gag. He didn't know how he was getting out of this one. He just wanted to be up in the loft, surrounded by his family and the love of his life. The faint smell of Bobby's pasta sauce wafted its way into the locker room. He imagined himself up there right now, moving gracefully around Bobby as he instructed him what to do next. 

The hands pinning his arms above his head gripped tighter, surely leaving bruises behind. A fist flew at his face, causing his head to snap to the side as his lip spilt. More fists made their way all along his body, opening some bigger cuts as more bruises began to scatter along his form. Buck realized they probably wanted to weaken him further before they had their real 'fun.' 

The weight returned to his legs as Kingsley sat back to admire his work. Buck had little strength left, and the usual brightness of his eyes had dulled slightly. The man on top of him rubbed along Buck's chest and legs, sucking bruises as he went. Buck's right leg weakly shot out, attempting to buck the weight off of him. Kingsley narrowed his eyes at the attempted struggle. He moved himself off of his victim, his hands trailing down his legs. Buck flinched away from the touch, beginning to panic when he felt the hands close around his right ankle. 

Buck screamed behind his gag when Kingsley tore his ankle to the left. The bone snapped, the sound echoing throughout the locker room. Buck struggled even harder now, his breaths coming out in short gasps through his nose. The men laughed once again at his helpless state, lust beginning to take over even more. 

"Flip him over." Kingsley commanded. 

Johnston's hands pinning his arms let go. They went to his back, further jostling his dislocated shoulder. Kingsley rose off his legs, looking at his straining abs in glee. Together, they flipped Buck, slamming him onto his stomach. Buck's face met Johnston's crotch. He felt his eyes tear up again as he realized how helpless he was to stop this. 

He froze when he heard the sound of a belt coming off behind him. 

He heard Kingsley drop his belt to the ground, the telltale sound of a zipper soon following. Buck sobbed behind the rag again, his mind racing over what was going to happen. He felt him lean over his body, his hard length rubbing against him. Kingsley grabbed his arms, tugging them back to give Johnston time to unbuckle his belt and take off his pants. Buck almost heaved when Johnston took his hard length out and rubbed it against his face. 

The wounds all across his body were making him weak, the blood loss beginning to take its toll. Johnston stroked his dick, drooling over the thought of Buck helpless underneath them. Behind him, Kingsley pulled down his boxers, his own member coming out, hitting Buck's ass. 

"You're going to feel so good." Kingsley gasped out, taking his member in hand. 

Johnston ripped the gag out Buck's mouth, watching as he gasped for breath. 

"R-r-Rodney.. please, don't do this." Buck begged, hoping that by using his first name he maybe could get through to the older man, to get him to stop doing this. 

Kingsley gripped his hair, pulling his head up, "We're going to do whatever we well please, got it? You're going to take it like the little slut you are. We're going to ruin your holes, bitch."

Buck sobbed, terrified and alone. He felt Kingsley spreading his legs apart, his hand going to his boxers. Buck let out a scream, hoping and praying that his teammates could hear it. 

"Shut your mouth bitch." Johnston's hand struck his cheek, his ring slicing the skin open. 

Buck shut his eyes as Johnston forced his dick into his mouth. His felt Kingsley behind him, seemingly getting off on his pain alone. His free hand roamed Buck's body once again, feeling every part of him. 

The only thing he could be thankful for was that his boxers were still on when his team burst in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is everyone! I hope you enjoyed and the next chapter will be up very soon!


	3. The Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie couldn't believe his eyes. His Evan, pinned on the ground, mostly naked, by their coworkers. He felt sick to his stomach, and just one look at the others would say they felt the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much! I honestly never thought I would get as much feedback as quickly as I did on this story but I am so pleased that you guys seem to like it so far! On to the next chapter!

* * *

They all tensed when they heard the scream. A scream, from inside the fire station? This had to be one of the safest places you could be, so who would be screaming right now? 

Eddie briefly panicked when he realized exactly who it could be. 

"Was that-" Chimney started.

"Buck." Eddie replied.

The group shared a look as Bobby pulled the pasta sauce to an unlit burner, before racing down the stairs. They nearly tripped over one another in their haste to get to their boy. Eddie's heart was racing at the prospect of Buck being in danger. He knew that was their job, but come on, at the fire station? They were supposed to be safe here, waiting for the terrors that await outside of the station, not within. 

The group skidded to a halt in front of the locker room, the sight meeting them taking everyone's breath away. 

Buck, their Buck, was pinned to the ground, two fellow firemen assaulting him. Eddie couldn't believe it. A shout ripped its way out of his mouth before he even realized it. Bobby went full captain mode, ordering Hen and Chim to grab the med supplies as soon as he saw the blood pouring down Buck's face. 

Athena drew her gun. She wasn't about to let these monsters hurt her boy any more than they already had. 

"Let him go now!" Athena's voice commanded. 

Johnston looked up, too preoccupied by the pleasure he was feeling from his dick inside Buck's mouth to register as he was torn away from the younger man. Once he realized what was happening, he struggled against his Captain's hold. 

"Firefighter Kingsley, move away from him now." Her gun was trained on the man, daring him to do anything stupid. She did a double take when she realized the man had a weapon in his hand. 

"Kingsley, if you do not put down that box cutter right down, I will shoot, do you hear me?" Athena spoke, her hand moving up to her radio. 

"I need backup at the 118 right now, I have a sexual assault and one assailant has a weapon. I repeat, I need backup units to the 118 fire station now!" 

"Oh come on, we were just having a little fun, weren't we Buck?" Kingsley sneered. 

Eddie couldn't take it anymore, he could see Buck struggling on the ground, seemingly unaware of his team's presence. He went to move toward the man, but Athena beat him to it. She went over to Kingsley, grabbing his wrist and squeezing so he dropped the box cutter. He started resisting, continuing to claim that everything was consensual. Athena punched him, effectively silencing him before snapping the cuffs on his wrists. 

She looked over at the other assailant. Bobby had him pinned down, a knee on the small of his back like a true professional. 

Once Buck realized the men were off of him, he scrambled away. He launched himself into the corner of the room, his 6'2 stature seemingly disappearing as he curled in on himself. Eddie moved to help him, but paused as he heard him begging for them to not hurt him. Hen and Chimney entered the locker room with the supplies, stopping when they saw the look on their captain's face.

The sound of police sirens cut through the tense air, snapping everyone out of it. The sirens grew closer until they were abruptly shut off, the sound of fellow officers entering the firestation.

"Sergeant Grant!?" an unfamiliar voice called. 

"In here!" Athena replied.

Two officers entered the locker room, eyes widening at the sight. Athena roughly pulled Kingsley up, whispering, "You're damn lucky I didn't kill you right then and there," before pushing him towards the other officer. She heaved a sigh of relief as the two men were pulled out of the room, shouting and fighting to get out of their cuffs. 

* * *

After the commotion of the arrest had cleared, Buck's pleas became apparent. The rest of the team hung back, not wanting to crowd the traumatized young man. 

"Please stop. Please I don't want it, I don't want it. It hurts, stop, please stop." Buck begged. Tears streamed down the poor kid's face as he rocked his broken body back and forth. 

"Buck," Eddie put a hand out, retracting it as soon as Buck flinched away, "We're not going to hurt you, okay? It's over now, I promise, they're gone, they can't hurt you." The litany of reassurance that left his mouth seemed to have no bearing on his boyfriend. God, he couldn't believe this. 

"Evan." The use of his first name seemed to snap Buck out of the hell he had found himself in. 

His head slowly raised from behind his arms, his frantic blue eyes softening a fraction when they landed on Eddie in front of him. 

"E-Ed-'die?" Buck stuttered out. 

"I'm here baby, it's going to be okay." Eddie said softly. 

Buck launched himself at Eddie, wrapping his arms around him. He gripped him tightly as if he was going to disappear. Sobs wracked his frame and he hid his face in the crook of Eddie's neck. Everyone in the room noticed the wrongful shape of Buck's shoulder as he held on to Eddie. 

"Eds, they- they we're gonna.." He gasped out. 

"Shh, shh, I know sweetheart, I know. I've got you, I promise." Eddie reassured. 

Eddie pulled back, taking in as all of the adrenaline left Buck's body. He ran his eyes across Buck, absorbing the wounds across his body. He hesitated when he saw the blood soaked band at the top of his boxers. 

"Buck, Bucky," Eddie said, pulling out the nickname Christoper commonly uses on Buck, "We need to get you to the hospital, okay? You're hurt pretty bad buddy." 

Buck nodded, looking past Eddie as he took in his team. They looked worried, he hated that he was the cause of that. 

"B-Bobby, 'T-'Thena?" Buck asked, tilting his bleeding head like a puppy. 

The married couple looked at each other before coming over to the boys and kneeling down. The pair winced as they saw the raw marks on Buck's back, seemingly from when he struggled on the floor. 

"We're here son, don't worry, we're here now." Bobby said. 

"Hey Buckaroo, everyone's here sweetheart. You're safe now." 

Chimney and Hen came down to the huddled group. It was weird, in any other circumstance, a family huddle like this would be a welcome sight, but now, a bloodied Buck in the middle of his family, felt all too familiar. 

"Hey Buck, we're here, alright? It's okay now, we're gonna get you to the hospital sweetie." Hen's sisterly voice rang out. 

"I'm sorry, I-I'm so sorry." Buck whimpered out. 

"Shh baby it's not your fault, I promise. I promise." Eddie replied to Buck's needless apologies. 

"Buck, buddy, we need to go to the hospital now." Chim called out. 

Buck nodded in understanding, his eyes beginning to droop. The group panicked, knowing the amount of blood he had loss could end him. 

"Woah there Buck, none of that okay? Keep your eyes open, come on." Eddie begged, his hand coming up to caress Buck's relatively unmarred cheek. 

"Stay with us Buck, just stay with us."

Buck wasn't sure who said that, but he knew he should probably listen to them. It was just getting really hard to stay awake, his head throbbed and his ribs ached with every pulse of his heart. The blood still seeped out of his wounds at a steady rate, worrying the paramedics. 

"-uck, Buck, can you hear us?" Bobby's fatherly voice called out. 

"Y-yeah Pops." 

Buck's body shook with effort to remain upright even with Eddie's arms around him. He heard the team around them getting a back board ready, moving slowly as not to scare Buck. He slumped against Eddie, the exhaustion hitting full force now. His ankle throbbed beneath him, the cuts stung and his head and shoulder ached. He just wanted the pain to stop. 

"Buck we need to go to the hospital now, okay?" Eddie explained. Buck nodded, panicking briefly when he felt Eddie's hands leave him. 

"Buckaroo, we're just going to move you to the backboard. It's just Chim and me." Hen said. 

He felt them grip under his arms, as Eddie moved to straighten his legs out from under him, wincing harshly when he saw the swollen ankle. His body straightened out, everyone letting out a collective gasp when they saw the full extent of his injuries. 

"Oh son." Bobby softly cried, tears springing to his eyes when it fully registered to him that the boy was only in his boxers. 

He felt the backboard slide beneath him as his teammates lowered his body down, gently strapping him in place so he wouldn't fall out. Together, the family unit lifted the bleeding Buck off the ground, Athena leading them to the ambulance, pulling the doors open. Her heart broke a little more as they transferred him to the gurney, Buck letting out a pained groan as they did so. 

"I'll escort you guys, keep that boy alive, you hear me?" Athena told the others, giving her husband a quick kiss before scrambling to her car. 

"I'll drive." Chim said, him and Bobby making their way to the front, leaving Hen and Eddie to help Buck. 

They slammed the doors closed to the ambulance, Athena's sirens blaring out as they made their way to hospital. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is! Sorry I kind of keep ending them on cliffhangers, this chapter just kept getting longer and longer and I needed to find a good stopping point. 
> 
> Also side note on music real quick: 6:00 by Grandson really hits different with the way our society is right now.


	4. Hold On (Just One More Time)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie held back tears as Hen and he attached wires to Buck's form. He just.. his boyfriend didn't deserve this. After everything the young man has been through, where does it end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the feedback on this story, I'm honestly amazed at how quickly everyone has taken to it! I'm glad a lot of y'all are enjoying it! Anyway, onto the story!
> 
> Also, mega sorry in advance for the medical inaccuracies, I hope you still can still enjoy the fic :)

* * *

The ambulance tore down the street, the sirens mingling with Athena's. In the front, Chimney and Bobby anxiously watched the streets fly by. Behind them, Hen and Eddie worked frantically on Buck, blood-soaked bandages strewn about. 

"His blood pressure's dropping, he's going into shock," Hen looked up at Buck, his eyes drooping, "Oh no, no, no, Buck come on. Stay awake honey just a few more minutes, come on." 

"Buck, Evan stay with us!" Eddie pleaded, blood spilling between his fingers as he worked to get Buck's head wound under control. 

Buck's mind was clouded with pain. He just wanted it to stop, make it stop!

"P-p-please, m-make it.. stop." Buck begged. 

"Buck, it's alright, shh, shh, sh, it's okay. It'll all be over soon, okay? You're going to be fine." Eddie hiccupped, a traitorous tear escaping his eye. 

Buck tried to fight, he tried to stay awake he did, but it was just too much. His eyes slipped closed, Eddie's worried face the last thing he saw. 

Eddie and Hen's heads shot up when they heard the telltale sign of the heart monitor growing exponentially slower.

"He's crashing!" Eddie yelled

"Grabbing the defibrillators!" 

The monitor flatlined. 

"No, no Buck don't do this to us!" 

"Charging, and clear!" 

Hen shocked Buck's battered chest, a slight sob escaping her when the monitor showed no change. 

"Going again, clear!"

His body came up off the stretcher again. The two firefighters waited with a bated breath before hearing the glorious sound of the heart monitor coming back into rhythm. 

"Bobby! What's our ETA?" Eddie shouted up to the front.

"ETA is one minute!" His captain's voice responded. "How's he doing?" 

"We almost lost him! We got him back but he needs the hospital now!" 

After the words left his mouth, he could've swore he felt the ambulance go even faster. Him and Hen almost flung to the side as Chimney pulled in hurriedly to the hospital. 

After that it was a huge flurry of activity. Athena shot out of her car. Bobby and Chimney coming around the back, throwing the doors open. Hen hopped down, her and Eddie lifting the stretcher out of the ambulance. Buck's form shook with the movement but his eyes remained shut. His breaths came out in short gasps between his pink lips. 

"Stay with us Evan! It's okay baby, I got you, just hold on." Eddie rambled. 

The doctors from the hospital rushed to Buck's side, rolling the gurney through the doors. Eddie scrambled to keep up, continuing to plead with Buck's injured form. They reached the doors to the trauma room, a nurse abruptly stopping Eddie in his tracks, before they whisked Buck away. 

"Sir! Sir, you can't go in there, you know that!" The nurse explained to him, her hand on his bicep to prevent him from entering the room. 

"No, no, no, please! You have to save him, please don't let him die!" Eddie sobbed before dropping to his bloodstained knees on the hard linoleum. 

He heard his teammates burst through the doors, having been blocked by all the chaos. Every one of them had varying degrees of blood on their uniform. They looked like they had just come from a murder scene. Hell, they almost did. He heard Bobby asking for information, stopping when he saw Eddie. He felt someone's arms wrap around him. 

"He'll be okay, Eddie. It's Buck, he's survived so much already; he'll make it." Bobby whispered, seeming to barely believe his own reassurances. 

He guided Eddie over to chairs that lined the waiting room, the rest of the team following suit. Hen and Chimney plopped down into the seats, the former leaning her head back against the wall. Bobby and Athena sat next to one another, hands intertwined as the usually stoic Athena cried lightly into her husband's shoulder. Eddie sat in disbelief next to Bobby, the blood on his uniform drying and sticking uncomfortably to his skin. 

* * *

The group sat there for a few minutes. Most of them were crying, letting out almost inaudible gasps at different intervals. Suddenly, Chimney's head shot up, his eyes almost popping out of his head. 

"Crap, I- I need to call Maddie." He said, his voice thick. 

"O-okay, I need to call Abuela, ask her to take," his voice cracked, "t-to take Chris for a little while." 

Bobby put a hand on Eddie's shoulder, watching as the younger man hung his head down. He scrubbed a hand over his face, blood flaking off his palms, hitting the floor. He watched as Chimney stepped away, a new set of tears springing to the other man's eyes as he was met with a lively "Hey!" from Buck's sister. 

The team listened in, watching as Chim struggled to keep it together for her sake. 

"Hey Maddie, um, I need you to meet me at the hospital." 

"What happened? Are you okay, did a call go wrong?" Her voice quickly grew panicked. 

"No, no, I," he paused, "I'm fine, it's Buck." 

"What?" Chimney winced, pulling the phone away from his ear when her volume increased. 

"What happened, is Ev alright?" 

"Just get here, please." He whispered the last part. 

"I'm on my way." Chim faintly heard Josh in the background asking what was wrong, before offering to drive. He heard Maddie agree, before the call went silent as she hit the hang up button. 

He made his way back to the others, watching as Hen excused herself to make her respective call to her wife and kids. Athena stepped away too, pecking Bobby on the cheek.

"I'm going to call Michael and the kids. Ask him to watch them for a few days, tell them that Buck's.. hurt." Athena explained. 

Eddie was still too in shock over what was happening. He knew he needed to call Chris, tell him that his Buck was hurt. He felt Bobby rub his hand over his shoulder again, encouraging him to call his son. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, instantly smearing the screen with specs of blood. He rang his Abuela, explaining the situation to her. He almost broke down again when he heard her let out a slight cry, before hushing as Chris entered the room, his crutches hitting the tile. 

"Hey daddy!" Chris' voice echoed over the phone. 

"Hey buddy, are you being good for Abuela?" 

"Of course I am!"

"Look Chris, um... Bucky got hurt at work today." 

"But he's okay, right dad? Can I, can- I come see him?" 

"He will be soon mijo, the doctors are going to do everything they can for him. But, right now, I need you to stay with Abuela for a few days, okay? I promise you'll be able to see him soon." He bit back a sob. 

"Okay daddy. Please make sure Buck is okay." Chris' innocent voice asked. 

"I will buddy, I will, I promise. I love you Chris." 

"I love you too daddy." 

"Thank you Abuela, also will you let Carla know the situation when she comes by?" Eddie asked when she had the phone back. 

"Of course, you look out for that boy, okay?" 

"I will." 

He hung up the phone, pocketing it. He slumped back, shutting his eyes for a brief couple of moments. Next to him, Athena sat back down, her hand gripping her husband's tightly. The group sat there in silence, worried for their family member. 

* * *

After a few minutes, Athena cleared her throat and spoke, "I have to run back to the station, let my captain know what's going on. I'll stop by the station and grab you guys some extra clothes." There was an underlying anger in her tone, clearly not wanting to have to go back to the place that held the crime scene. 

"Thanks 'Thena." The group rang out. 

Bobby kissed his wife, watching as she left the hospital. He looked at his team, deciding that they needed to get as cleaned up as they could. He got out of the chair and stretched, his joints popping loudly. 

"Come on guys, let's clean up before Maddie gets here, she shouldn't have to see," he gestured to their bloody uniforms and hands, "this." 

The group groaned in varying levels of agreement. They stood, looking around for a moment before spotting the restrooms. Eddie all but sprinted to them, barreling through the door, running to the sinks. He turned the water on as hot it would go and started scrubbing. Bobby and Chimney entered a few moments later, sharing a look before moving to their own sinks. The sound of running water and scraping dried blood filled the air for the next few minutes. The other two men finished cleaning up as best they could, drying their hands off. They watched as Eddie continued to furiously scrub his hands raw despited the blood being almost completely gone. 

"Eddie." Bobby's authoritative voice rang out. 

The distraught man didn't even seem to notice. Bobby walked up, circling his arms around the man and turning off the water. 

"It's gone. There's nothing on your hands anymore, it's alright." His tone softened. 

Eddie let out a dry sob, letting his teammates gently dry his hands before leading him out to the waiting room, a tired looking Hen already there waiting for them. They retook their seats, the silencing settling for a moment before Maddie burst through the door with a worried Josh in tow. 

"Where is he? Where's my brother?" Maddie yelled out, looking around frantically, her eyes finally landing on the team. 

The pair ran over, Maddie immediately going up to Chimney.

"Mads." He breathed out, embracing her. 

"What happened?"

"Buck was, he was-" Chimney broke, not being able to finish the sentence.

"It's okay Chim, I got it." Bobby said, breaking the couple out of the bubble they had found themselves in.

"Maddie, Josh, Buck was- he was attacked, earlier today. Two fellow firemen attacked him at the station today." Bobby explained as calmly as he could." 

"Why would his co-workers do something like that to him?" Josh asked.

"We don't know yet. But the attack seemed to be.. sexually motivated." He cringed at the words.

Maddie and Josh both had looks of disbelief dawn on their faces. Maddie let out a choked gasp, tears beginning to stream down her face. 

"You're- you're telling me my baby brother was-" she hesitated, "was raped?"

"We're not completely sure." Bobby said.

Eddie, Josh, Chim, and Hen watched the encounter, a range of emotions rushing through Maddie.

"What do you mean you're not sure?" She asked angrily. 

"Buck still- he still had his boxers on when we came in." Bobby wanted to puke at the words. 

"Oh my god." Maddie collapsed, Chimney coming to hold her as he guided her to a chair. 

The group fell into a tense silence, Josh coming to sit down on the opposite side of Eddie, everyone making sure to leave a space for when Athena returned. 

"Hey Josh, not to sound rude, but what are you doing here? I didn't know you and Buck were that close." Eddie whispered to the dispatcher. 

"It's alright Eddie. My shift was about to end and I definitely wasn't going to let Maddie drive herself here. But yeah, me and Buck have become better friends ever since that poker night with Maddie and Chim." Josh clarified. 

Eddie nodded in understanding, leaving the group to fall silent once again, the only noise being the bustling of the hospital and Maddie's muffled cries. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is folks! Chapter 4! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Also, if you guys have any songs or anything you'd like to share with me, leave it down in the comments! I'll do my best to respond :) 
> 
> -Also, I'm staying the night at my girlfriend's for her bday tonight (just us and her parents, we are being safe with the social distancing/quarantine as we already have been around one another) so I'm sorry if I update a little late, thank you!
> 
> Edit: y'all got any suggestions for how you want the next chapter to go? I'm kind of conflicted on what to do so let me know what y'all think would be good!


	5. The Waiting Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie truly hated hospitals now. He used to think they were magical places, saving lives and bringing new life into the world. But now, watching as his beaten boyfriend slept on the hospital bed, he just hated them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thanks again on the wonderful feedback. This chapter is probably going to be slightly dialogue heavy, so I hope you enjoy even if it's not your thing. Thanks y'all!

* * *

Two hours ticked by. No news, no guarantee that Buck was going to make it. Eddie had turned to pacing a hole in the floor at this point, his eyes darting around, looking for any doctor that could give him news about his boyfriend. His anxious eyes met a furious looking Athena, a bag of their extra clothes in one hand while her phone was in the other. 

"You better find him or else I'll have your badge!" Athena shouted into the device, slamming her thumb down on the button, ending the call. 

Eddie stopped his pacing, worry beginning to fill his body as Athena trudged her way over to the group, dodging nurses and patients alike littering the halls. He watched as Athena attempted to school her features. She made it to the group, going over to kiss Bobby before handing the clothes to the firefighters. Eddie took the clothes with a smile of thanks before asking the question that had been weighing on his mind since Athena had walked in. 

"Uh Athena, what was that about on the phone earlier?" He asked. 

The woman sighed, scrubbing a hand down her face before speaking, "Well apparently-," she was cut off by the surgeon coming out into the hallway, gazing around for a few seconds. 

"Family of Evan Buckley?" 

Eddie's head snapped to where the man was standing, the rest of the group immediately following suit when he walked over to the doctor clad in bloodstained scrubs. 

"That's us. Is he-," Eddie gulped, "is he alive?"

Hen placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

"Yes, Mr. Buckley thankfully pulled through surgery." 

They all let out sighs of relief. Bobby pulled Athena into a tight hug as Chimney and Maddie exchanged a tearful but happy kiss. Eddie wanted to join in on their happiness, but he still needed to know more. 

"How bad is it?" 

The doctor looked at the group, pausing to decide if he should really go into detail about the injuries. 

"You can tell us doctor, we can handle it." Bobby said, his captain voice shining through slightly. 

The doctor sighed. "Mr. Buckley-" 

"Call him Buck, please. He goes by Buck." Maddie interrupted. 

"Alright, well Buck," the doctor started again,"Buck sustained several serious injuries. Starting with his legs, he has many small superficial cuts on his shins, knees, and thighs. However, he did sustain a broken right ankle along with some severe bruising."

Maddie and Josh were barely able to contain their gasps. 

"It was mostly a clean break, but we did have to put two pins and a small plate to ensure the bone heals correctly." 

"He had things similar to that put into his left leg after he was crushed by the truck and they caused an embolism. The ones you put in don't run the risk of him clotting again, right?" Hen, ever the paramedic, asked. 

"No, the rods he had put in after his other incident were done incorrectly and carelessly. We made sure to properly secure the bone and everything surrounding it, so there should be minimal risk of clotting, and with physical therapy he'll regain full use and range of motion." The group nodded, thankful for the explanation. 

"Now, moving upwards, Buck sustained deeper cuts and multiple contusions. He suffered a stab wound to his side that nicked one of his vital organs, but we managed to save the organ and repair the damage. Buck also sustained several broken ribs, one of which punctured his lungs. We managed to reinflate the lung and we are going to keep him on the ventilator tonight just to give the lung a small break. If everything goes as planned, we'll likely have him off of it tomorrow morning." 

The doctor allowed the information to sink in for a moment, watching the family process it for a minute before continuing. 

"Buck has a slight friction burn on his back, but we bandaged that and it should heal on its own relatively quickly. On his arms, Buck has several small gashes and he has a dislocated left shoulder. Due to how long the shoulder was out of place for, we have put him in an immobilizer sling that will allow the shoulder and arm to heal at a better pace." 

The doctor took a breath before continuing, "Buck has a severe head wound and what we think is a Grade 3 concussion. He has several gashes on his face, the largest one was a big concern to us during surgery due to the blood loss, but we managed to stitch it close and it should leave little to no scarring. He has some bruising and his mouth and throat is slightly swollen, so I want you all to be prepared for when you see him." The doctor finished. 

"Please tell me that's all the injuries he has." Eddie begged, a tear escaping his eye.

"Yes, I believe that covers it. I'm truly sorry about your friend but he was a fighter during surgery." 

"What do you mean?" Maddie asked.

"Well, we lost him once on the table, but we managed to get him back quickly all things considered. He fought and he made it through. You have quite the strong young man on your hands." the doctor said fondly.

"Thank you Dr.-" Eddie quirked his eyebrow up in question.

"Stark, Dr. Stark." He smiled.

"Thank you for saving him Dr. Stark." 

One at a time, the group shook the man's hand, so grateful that their boy was alive. 

Dr. Stark looked at his watch, "He should be settled in a room shortly, Nurse Cory here will let you know when he is." He gestured to the woman working at the reception area. 

"Now if you'll excuse me." He smiled once again at the group before making his exit. 

* * *

Sighs of relief and joy made themselves throughout the group. Eddie was grateful, he was, but he was still on edge. He just wanted to see his boyfriend already. 

"Eddie," Bobby placed an arm around Eddie, "Let's go change why we wait for him to be put in a room, okay?" 

The man nodded, moving to the bathrooms to change. The firefighters emerged a few minutes later, throwing their soiled uniforms in the trash can. They sat down in their respective seats once more, waiting to see their Buck.

Twenty minutes passed before the nurse spoke, "Family of Evan Buckley?" 

"Yes ma'am, is he in a room now?" Eddie asked.

"Yes, he is on floor three in room 237." She responded before returning to her work. 

The group all but launched themselves down the hallway, clambering to the elevator. Eddie clicked the button repeatedly, his impatience getting the better of him. The doors opened with a 'ding' and the group crowded inside.

* * *

A few minutes later they found themselves outside Buck's room. Considering how many times Buck has been in the hospital recently, it should be easy to go into the room. But here Eddie found himself, hesitating just outside the doorway of the private recovery room. His hand made its way up to the back of his neck, trying to squeeze the tension out. 

"Come on guys." Bobby gently encouraged. 

Eddie knew it was no easier for Bobby to deal with this, but he appreciated him taking the lead nonetheless. He took a deep breath and opened the door. His eyes landed on his boyfriend, his skin paler than the hospital sheets he lie on. 

"Oh Buck." Maddie gasped, running over to the left side of his bed, pulling a hospital chair up to the bed. 

Chimney came around, placing comforting hands on his girlfriend's shoulders. A sob tore from her throat, leaning her head down on the bed. Eddie felt an equal amount of shock and pain despite having seen him during the vile attack. He took a seat on his right side, gripping the man's slack hand tightly. Although they had heard the in-depth description of the man's injuries, seeing them on almost full display floored everyone. 

The bruises on his face and neck stood out starkly against the harsh lighting of the room. The bloodied gashes had been cleaned and stitched although the flesh remained an angry red around them. The fingerprint shapes on his neck made a flash of anger flow through every one of them. The white bandages, tinged slightly red in certain spots, covered most of the man's body, moving up and down with the movements of his broad chest. His face was pale and lax around the tube down his throat. 

Eddie stroked his thumb over Buck's hand, a reassuring gesture the couple had found themselves using quite often, especially after a bad call. He shifted in his chair trying to get comfortable but inevitably failing. Bobby, Athena, Hen, and Josh situated themselves around the room. It seems as if someone knew that they weren't going to be leaving the boy anytime soon. 

They all shifted, attempting to get into a position that worked for them, settling in for the night to wait for Buck to wake up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the late update but I had a great time with my girlfriend! I feel like this chapter kind of sucks, but I really hope you guys like it! I'm having a slight case of writer's block but I'll do my best to get chapter 6 up sooner rather than later. Thanks again!


	6. So Lay Your Head (On Me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie watched as his boyfriend slept on the hospital bed. The steady rise and fall of Buck's chest was the only movement from the younger man. Eddie was so scared, so upset. He didn't know what this was going to do to Buck. After all the trauma he had been through, he was finally starting to heal, but now, he didn't know who was going to be there when he woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! Thanks a bunch on your feedback it makes me super happy. I've had a little bit of writer's block recently, but I hope the more recent chapters have still been good to y'all. Anyway, here's chapter 6!

* * *

Time seemed to pass at a snail's pace. Eyes were heavy as the night slowly grew darker, each person in a varying degree of sleep. The steady hum of the heart monitor and the other machines crowded around Buck's form flowed through their ears, bringing a sick sense of comfort to them. His chest rose and fell steadily, albeit mechanically. The black sling brought out the pallor of his skin and the depth of the bruises. The encompassing cast on his foot made him seem that much smaller.

They were all snapped out of the slight peace that had finally managed to settle, when the shrill ringtone of Athena's phone filled the room. 

Bobby snapped out of his light sleep, a slight snort escaping him. Maddie jumped, her shoulder jostling the sleeping Chimney next to her. Eddie looked up, the memories flooding back from earlier in the waiting room before Dr. Stark had found them. 

"Sergeant Grant." Athena sleepily answered. 

A beat passed, "That's what you called me for? To tell me you still haven't found him?" The anger was apparent in her voice. Eddie watched as she stood up, running a hand over her neck while listening to the voice on the other end. 

"I still cannot fathom how this managed to happen in a police station of all places!" She yelled into the device. "I want two officers sent here to the hospital for security, and I want every available unit out looking for this guy." Her voice slightly cracked on the last word, before nodding her head and hung up the phone.

Everyone was silent as Athena sighed, running a hand through her hair. 

Eddie took the leap, asking what everyone in the room was thinking, "A-Athena, what was that about?" 

Athena let out another sigh, taking a seat next to Bobby, gripping his hand tightly. 

"Kingsley escaped." She deadpanned. 

Collective gasps let out among the firefighters while Maddie and Josh shared a look of confusion. 

"Who's Kingsley?" Josh asked, leaning forward. 

"He's one of the men who attacked Buck." Hen answered for Athena. 

Maddie let out a choked sob, "One of?"

Bobby nodded solemnly, "There were two of them, we think they overpowered Buck too fast for him to even have a chance to escape. We won't know for sure what happened until he wakes up." 

Maddie nodded brokenly, turning her attention towards her brother, putting a light hand on his face, stroking her thumb across the bruise near his eye. 

"Athena," anger began to cloud Eddie, "you said Kingsley escaped, Ho-how could that even happen?" 

"Apparently he played one of the rookies." Athena shook her head. "He made up some sob story, said he got 'caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.' The poor girl didn't know why he was brought in and he managed to convince her to let him go. She didn't see Johnston either so she didn't know he had a partner. She trusted him because he was a firefighter, and apparently Johnston was resisting arrest so the two officers that came to the scene were preoccupied." 

"She let him out of his cuffs but went to ask one of the supervisors to authorize letting him go. They were off in the corner so nobody could really see them, so Kingsley attacked her, knocked her out and took her gun before escaping the station." Athena explained. "Sh- she said he whispered something to her before he knocked her out. He said that he was going 'to finish what he started'." Athena finished, a worried look on her face as she stared at the young man on the hospital bed.

At this point, they were all livid, especially Eddie. 

"Is the girl okay?" Bobby asked. 

"Yeah, she's fine. Just a minor concussion." She answered. 

Eddie stood up, his chair pushing a few feet behind him. He was so damn angry. He couldn't believe this! After everything that happened, everything! He thought that Buck could be finally safe, but now this? One of the men who tried to rape him was out and looking for him, ready to hurt him, or worse. Eddie couldn't stomach the thought of the man coming near Buck again. 

Eddie was prepared to stomp out of the room and go find the son of a bitch who hurt his boyfriend. Bobby's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Eddie, don't be getting any half-cocked ideas now." 

"Bobby, don't you understand? We need to find him, now! I can't, no, I won't let him near Buck again. He's been through enough as it is." Eddie shouted angrily. 

Bobby stood up out of his chair, his joints cracking from the prolonged uncomfortable position. "Eddie, Athena has everyone available looking for him, they'll find him, I promise." 

"Bobby, I can't just sit here and do nothing. A-and you can't promise that!"

"Believe me Eddie, I know. But when Buck wakes up, he's going to be scared and panicked and he's going to want you by his side. Besides, that son of a bitch won't even be able to get near him while we're here, none of us are leaving, I told you that. The hospital has the security here and the officers will be here soon right outside that door." He gestured. 

He reached his hand out, placing it on the young firefighter's trembling shoulder. The rest of the group watched in silence, not wanting to interrupt the men's moment. A violent sob escaped Eddie, the inevitable breakdown that had been coming finally hitting full force. Bobby gently guided him outside the room, shooting the rest of them a look to keep an eye on their boy. 

"Shh, shh, Eddie he'll be okay. He'll be okay." 

Bobby held the crying man on the hard hospital floor, ignoring the ever growing wetness on his shirt. 

"I- I'm sorry Bobby, it's just-" The man hiccuped out between cries. 

"Shhh, it's alright Eddie. I'll take you crying over going out and getting yourself hurt any day. It's okay to cry. Buck's going to make it through this, we all are." 

Bobby held the man until the hiccuping sobs were reduced to quiet tears. Eddie pulled back, a small 'thank you' squeaking out. Bobby nodded, rubbing his hands up and down Eddie's arms quickly. He repeated the reassurances until Eddie had calmed down, the tears beginning to dry. He stood up, reaching a hand down to the other man; Eddie took it graciously. Bobby guided him back to room, Eddie wiping surreptitiously at his red eyes before resuming his seat by Buck's bedside. 

Bobby sat next to his wife, gripping her hand tightly, letting a slight small grace his face when she gave a light squeeze back. 

* * *

Night fell shortly after the commotion had quieted down. Nurses came in periodically, checking Buck's vitals, marking things on his chart. The two officers assigned to guard Buck had come in a few minutes ago, introducing themselves to the group and telling them they would be outside the doors at all time. Eddie was thankful for them, knowing that between them and the officers, nobody would even get close to Buck. 

Eddie sat tiredly next to Buck's bed, his thumb absentmindedly running itself along Buck's hand once again. He felt his eyes drooping, but he couldn't bring himself to sleep until he knew Kingsley was behind bars. The rest of the group seemed to have a similar mindset, some dozing off every so often only to startle awake shortly thereafter. Every loud sound in the hallway had them defensive, preparing to protect Buck no matter what. 

The night dragged on, everyone eventually falling into a state of restless sleep. Everyone except Eddie that is. He was awake, eyelids drooping as he scrolled mindlessly on his phone, stopping to smile at a picture of him, Buck, and Chris. His phone dropped on the bed lightly as his eyes closed, exhaustion from the day catching up to him. The light breathing of everyone filled the room, machines beeping on into the night. 

* * *

A few miles away, Jason Kingsley sat, plotting his revenge against Evan Buckley. The young man had caught his attention the moment he walked into the station that first day.

"Yes, thank you for the information Dr. Stark. I'll be there soon enough. Room 237 you said? Great, you have everything ready, correct? Good, everything is set then." 

A villainous grin grew on his face after talking to his associate, preparing to finish what he started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is! Once again, I feel like it's not the best but I hope y'all like it. Any suggestions for the next chapter? Also y'all got any song recs to listen to during writing? I like rock and pop music so anything in that realm is awesome. Thanks guys! 
> 
> -Also, I absolutely love you guys commenting so keep it up!
> 
> Edit: sorry bout the line breaks by the way they wouldn't cooperate with me this chapter
> 
> Double edit: I think I might take a short break from this story (like a day or two) and do a quick Buck-centric oneshot just to kinda refresh myself and not burn out with this story, thanks guys :)


	7. I'm Awake But Am I Even Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awareness came to Buck slowly. His throat was sore, and everything else felt.. tingly. He mind was swimming, trying to make sense of everything. Why did everything hurt?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for being so understanding with me needing a little break. Now enough talking, on to Chapter 7!

* * *

Eddie yawned for the third time that morning, stretching his arms above his head. They were all waiting for Buck to wake up. The nurses had come and taken the ventilator out a half an hour ago, and they said that Buck should be awake soon. 

Chimney had convinced Maddie to take a quick coffee run with him a little while ago. The cups of stale hospital coffee had once littered the hospital room, but Hen had taken it upon herself to clean up. Bobby, Athena, Josh, Hen, and Eddie were all sitting in various places by his bedside, making small talk. 

A few minutes passed with still no movement from Buck. Chim and Mads entered with small smiles on their face, handing out the coffees and breakfast pastries to the group. 'Thank yous' rang out from everyone, inhaling the scent of the actually good coffee. 

"Any changes?" Maddie asked, sitting down, blowing on her hot coffee. 

"No, not yet," Eddie answered, sipping his drink, "They said he'll wake up soon, though. He'll be okay." He whispered the last part, more for himself than the others. 

As if on queue, Buck released an almost inaudible grunt, his eyes beginning to flitter. 

"Evan?" Maddie asked. 

"Evan, Evan squeeze my hand if you can hear me." Eddie said, putting his coffee down and grabbing the man's hand. 

After a few moments he felt a light pressure on his hand. He looked around, every one of them having a smile on their face as they saw Eddie's proud eyes. 

"That's really good Buck, really good. Can you try to open your eyes now?" 

Buck let out a reluctant groan, his head shaking. His eyes kept opening and shutting, the harsh lighting of the hospital room bothering his pounding head. His eyes finally opened, the normally shocking blue reduced to a clouded haze. 

"E-E-Eds?" The injured man croaked out, his throat sore from disuse and the ventilator. 

"I'm here cariño, shh, it's alright." He stroked his hand through his hair, before turning to grab a cup of water for Buck. 

He tilted the cup, gently holding the back of Buck's head. He helped him for a few moments, taking the cup back. Everyone watched as the man flopped back in exhaustion from the slight exertion. 

"Wh-what happened?" Buck asked, his head tilting slightly. 

"You don't remember?" Hen asked. 

"I-I," Suddenly the memories came flooding back. Kingsley, Johnston, the assualt. "They attacked me." He whispered brokenly. 

They all watched as he struggled to gain a sense of composure, the medicine messing with his mind. A slight sob escaped him, a tear joining soon after. 

"Son, what happened wasn't your fault, okay?" Bobby said, everyone nodding in agreement. 

Maddie's eyes shined with tears as she watched her brother break even more. She just couldn't believe this happened. She knew Eddie felt the same way, watching as a flash of anger made its way through his eyes. A few minutes passed as they gave Buck time to become more coherent, Eddie rubbing circles on his hand with his thumb along the way. 

"Buck, it's alright if you're not ready, but sweetie what happened?" Athena asked, ever the sergeant. 

A whimper escaped him before he nodded, agreeing to talking. Everyone stilled, ready to listen to the young man. 

"I- I was in the locker room, going to take a quick shower before we ate. They came up behind me and Firefighter Kingsley said something to me. I-" He paused, closing his eyes as he remembered. "I went to leave, but Ki- he grabbed my arm, pulled my shoulder out. He kicked my bad leg and threw me down. I-I went to get up but he got on top of me and pinned my arms down."

Buck took a deep breath, steadying himself. "Johnston- he was busy looking for something. He grabbed a box cutter and gave it to Kingsley before, before stuffing the rag in my mouth." He winced at the memory, noticing the corners of his mouth were slightly raw. "He- he started cutting my clothes off. I started fighting back, but he got mad at that. He stopped for a minute before putting his hands around my ankle and pulling." He let out a choked sob at that.

Buck absentmindedly chewed on his split lip before continuing, "He cut off my pants and then they flipped me over. They took off their belts a-and unbuttoned their pants. A-and then they, t-they were gonna." He trailed off, letting out a hiccuping cry as he attempted to hide his face in his shoulder. 

"Buck, we need to know, did they- did they manage to.." Athena asked. 

"Umm kinda?" Buck said confusedly. "Kingsley," he gulped at the name, "was about to when you guys bust in. J-Johnston, he managed to.." He gestured haphazardly at his mouth, his eyes looking down in shame. The explanation made everyone feel that much worse. 

"I'm, I'm sorry." He whispered quietly. 

"Oh Evan." Maddie burst into sobs. She moved towards her brother, silently asking if she could hug him. He nodded hurriedly as she wrapped her arms around him, holding the shaking man. 

The others watched, feeling as if they were intruding on the family's moment. The tears from both parties subsided after a few minutes. Maddie pulled back, wiping at her eyes as Chimney wrapped his arm around the trembling woman. Eddie gripped his hand tightly once more, rubbing comforting little circles on the bruised appendage. 

"Buck, there's something-" Bobby started. 

A knock at the door startled them. A nurse stood there, looking very apologetic. 

"Um, hi." She said timidly. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but the doctor ordered for you to get some scans when you woke up." 

"Oh, ok." Buck nodded. 

"What kind of scans?" Eddie asked protectively. 

"Just some scans of his head to ensure that him being awake won't cause any further damage. But it's nothing to worry about, and it won't take very long." She smiled reassuringly. 

Something about the woman made Buck feel weirdly safe, seeing some of himself in the girl's youthful features. He schooled his own, looking at his family. 

"I'll be okay guys. How about you guys run home for a bit, clean up? Might as well if you're gonna be just waiting." He said. 

"Buck..." Eddie started. 

"It's okay Eds." Buck said weakly. 

"Buck we can stay." Josh offered. 

"You guys need to go, get into comfortable clothes and see the kids. I'll be alright."

"We'll be back in an hour." Bobby compromised. 

The others began to let out sounds of protest, but the look on the other man's face suggested it was a bad idea. 

"Okay, thanks guys." He smiled weakly from the bed. 

"We'll be back soon, I promise." Eddie kissed his hand before standing up. 

Buck watched as they left, the nurse stepping politely out of the way. Eddie shot another look back a Buck, catching his eye once more before leaving the room. Once they left, Buck instantly deflated, tears filling his eyes again. 

"Mr. Buckley, do you need a moment?" The nurse asked softly. 

"No, no I'm alright, thank you." He answered, wiping at his eyes. 

"Well then let's get you those scans, okay?" 

He nodded, closing his eyes as the even brighter light of the hospital hallway shone through his eyelids. He was just so tired. 

* * *

Eddie had to admit, taking a shower and changing made him feel way better than he had before. He rolled his shoulders as he walked back into the hospital fifty minutes later, lingering around the entrance for a few moments. He saw the others all walking in a few minutes later, all of them looking more composed and slightly more lively than they did before. 

They all came in, chatting amongst themselves. They spotted Eddie, walking towards him. They talked for a few moments, before getting ready to go back up to Buck's room. 

They made their way into the elevator, when Eddie spoke, "I'm really worried about him."

"I know, we all are Eddie but we have to be there for him every step of the way." Bobby said.

Eddie nodded, chewing his lip, the worry still consuming him. 

The elevator 'dinged' and they exited quickly. 

Out of the blue, the sound of a gunshot rang out, shocking the quiet hum of the hospital. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwhaha i feel evil. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I once again thank y'all for letting me take a short break. The next chapter will be up in a little while :)


	8. Can't Catch A Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His head was pounding. He ached, and his foot itched behind the cast. Great, this was just.., fucking great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter lol you guys were awesome! On to Chapter 8!

* * *

The lights were bright as Buck was wheeled down the hallway. The movement and the bustle of the hospital made him feel nauseous, his head pounding. He gulped, hitting his head lightly on the pillow behind him. He really did not have the energy for these scans. 

True to her word, the scans only took around 40 minutes. The nurse took him back to his room, helping him get comfortable. She attached the needed machines. 

"The doctor will be in a few minutes, I paged him after the scans were finished. He'll just want to talk to you about caring for your wounds and being careful." She explained, throwing him a small smile. 

"Thank you." He said genuinely.

"Of course, I'll see you later, okay?" He smiled and nodded as she left the room. 

Buck slumped back against the bed, a huff escaping. He closed his eyes, soaking in the quietness of the room for a moment. His free hand came up, rubbing over his face. He winced as he brushed over the bruising that adorned his face. He fiddled with the blankets for a few minutes, fingering a loose thread. 

He heard the door open, watching as two men in white coats entered the room. One had his face covered by the clipboard, the papers and charts lifted. The other had an anxious energy surrounding him. 

"Hello Mr. Buckley, I'm Dr. Stark. I operated on you yesterday." He shook the man's hand, a slight suspicion rising as the other man had still not lowered the clipboard. 

"Hello Buck." The other man finally lowered the clipboard. 

"Kingsley." Buck gasped out. 

How was he here? Buck thought the bastard was in jail, what the hell?

"H-how?"

"Long story short, tricked a cop and stole their gun. The rest-" He gestured to the actual doctor in the room. 

He pulled the gun from his waistband, pointing it at Buck. Buck's eyes bulged, freezing on the bed. Dr. Stark had a guilty look on his face. 

"Mr. Kingsley- I don't think-" The doctor started. 

"Shut up!" He yelled, aiming the gun at the doctor's head. 

"You're really going to back out?" 

"N-no sir but this isn't right." Dr. Stark stuttered out. 

"You know, you got me this far but I don't think I need you anymore. Thanks for the lab coat." He cocked the gun, and fired. 

The bullet lodged itself right in the middle of the man's forehead. The man fell to the ground, hitting the tile. Blood seeped out of the wound, spilling onto the ground. 

Buck's ears were ringing from the close proximity. Kingsley just murdered someone, and for what, him? He was damn terrified right now but he knew he didn;t have long until the others got here; he just needed to stall. 

"Wh-why did you do that? He didn't deserve to die." Buck said, pushing himself up on the bed, slowly moving his hand towards the call button. 

"I did it because of you Buck, don't you see? You have tempted me from day one Buckaroo." Buck winced at the name lovingly given to him by his team. 

"Jason," He used his first name, "you don't need to do this." He continued slowly inching his hand towards the button, but apparently he did it too fast. 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He spat, readjusting the gun in his grip. 

Buck raised his free arm, kicking himself inside his head. He straightened his posture, his back cracking. Kingsley muttered to himself, before stomping over to Buck. Buck shot his arm out when Kingsley grabbed the shoulder pad on his sling and ripped him out of the bed. The IV ripped out of his arm, leaving a bloody gash. A few monitors fell over, crashing to the floor. He landed with a hard thud, his casted foot banging off the ground. The drugs in his system made him sluggish, but the adrenaline soon began to take over. 

He faintly heard shouting outside the room, he figured it was either the officers or his team, and he sorely hoped it was the latter. Kingsley noticed it too, quickly unlocking the hospital bed's wheels and pushing it against the doors, locking the wheels back. Buck thought it was kind of dumb idea, but he didn't dare voice his thoughts.

"Kingsley, this can all end right now. Just open the door and give yourself up. No one else has to get hurt." Buck tried to negotiate. 

"No! I want you Buck, can't you see? You're just so.. perfect." He said. "I want you." 

He came over to Buck, pushing him back on the floor with a hand to the chest. He straddled him, pressing the gun against the middle of his forehead. Buck scrunched his eyes close, the cold metal biting at his skin. He didn't want to die like this. 

"We could've been so good together, you and I. Your pale skin against mine, side by side. I wish I could finish what I started back there in the locker room, but I sadly don't have time." 

"You need help, Kingsley." Buck spat. 

Buck was so confused by Kingsley's psyche. He thought before that he had just been simply attracted to him and conspired with Johnston to attack him, but this? He didn't know what to make of it, but at this point he didn't care; he just wants Eddie. 

He flinched from his position under Kingsley when the door was kicked in, the bed flying to the side. He caught a glimpse of Athena with her gun raised. 

"Kingsley, we really doing this again? We know how it ended last time. I will give you one chance to put that gun down and get your ass up." Athena spoke. 

"No can do Sarge. If I can't have him, well, you know what I have to do." He threw over his shoulder. 

Buck braced for death, hoping it would be painless and quick.

A gunshot rang out, and the blood was splattered everywhere. 

* * *

When Eddie heard the shot from the hallway, he immediately took off towards his boyfriend's room. He faintly heard the others following suit, the blood rushing in his ears. He skidded to a halt along with the others in front of the room. 

"What the hell is going on?" Athena asked the officers. 

"We don't know ma'am. One minute there were doctors going in there to talk to Mr. Buckley and then all of a sudden the gunshot rang out. We were trying to get the door open but something seems to be blocking it." One officer responded. 

Eddie was livid. What was up with this guy? He had seemed like a respectful and decent firefighter for the years Eddie had worked there, but this? he couldn't believe this. 

He rammed himself against the door despite the others' protests. The door budged, but didn't open. He tried again before the officers and Athena joined in trying to break the door down. It finally cracked beneath their combined weights. Eddie stumbled in, Athena pushed past him, her gun raised. 

He saw Buck on the ground, beneath Kingsley once more. He had to restrain himself from running to him. 

Athena was yelling at him, telling him to drop the gun. Eddie watched in fear as a trigger was pulled. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughh there it is. I honestly am not the biggest fan of this chapter but I hope you enjoyed nonetheless. The next chapter will be up soon enough :)


	9. I Just Want It To Be Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck couldn't believe it. He couldn't get Dr. Stark out of his head. Sure he saw the dead all the time, but this.. this was different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope y'all enjoy the chapter.

* * *

The gunshot echoed throughout the room. 

The blood splattered on Buck's face and the floor. The gun flew from Kingsley's hand as his body was carried by the momentum of the bullet tearing its way through his flesh. 

"You bitch! You fucking shot me!" He screamed. 

"Damn right I did. Jason Kingsley you are under arrest for the sexual assault and attempted murder of Evan Buckley. Cuff him." Athena nodded at the officers. 

They hauled Kingsley off Buck, him screaming all the way. 

"I'll come back Buck! I'll be back, you hear me?!" He screamed. 

Athena stopped one of the officers with a firm grip on their arm. 

"You better make sure he doesn't get away this time or I'll have both your badges." She said, releasing the fearful officer as she holstered her gun. 

Buck's ears were ringing. He heard the gun go off.. but he wasn't dead? He shook his head, trying to make sense of what happened. He felt the drying blood on his face as he scrunched his features. His head throbbed so damn much. He struggled to get off the ground, his hand slipping on the fresh blood. God, he was tired. He saw a face come into view above him. 

Eddie was livid. He pushed past Athena, scrambling to get to Buck. His heart broke at the sight. Buck was straining to get up, his eyes in a confused haze. 

"-uck? -an, -n you hea- m-?" Eddie's voice cut in and out in Buck's ears. 

"Buck?" He blinked a few times, finally recognizing that Eddie wasn't a threat. 

Eddie helped Buck lean against the wall, out of the blood puddle. 

"E-Eds?" He stuttered. 

"It's me Ev, it's me. It's over now baby, I promise." 

"Thank G-God." Buck sighed in relief. He faintly heard the yells of his pseudo family as his vision grew darker, Eddie's worried face being the last thing he saw before he promptly passed out. 

* * *

Eddie's blood was still boiling as he sat with the others in Buck's new recovery room. He cannot even wrap his head around how two armed guards managed to let Kingsley slip by. Two! He was pissed that Kingsley even managed to get near Buck. This whole damn thing was too much. 

Athena had been on the phone with supervisors and higher ups for the better part of 2 hours. Eddie felt bad for the woman, knowing there was a chance that she would get blamed for something that wasn't her fault. It was those stupid officers. Part of him wanted to march on down there and give them a piece of his mind. 

The other half of him wanted to beat Jason Kingsley to a bloody pulp. He quelled those thoughts as he looked at Buck, alive and breathing on the hospital bed next to him. He was so worried about the man. He had been through so much in just what, two-three days? This was ridiculous. 

His eyes strayed to the other occupants in the room. Bobby and Athena were held tightly next to one another, the latter slumped on his shoulder from exhaustion. They sat at one end of the bed, while Hen and Josh were huddled next to one another on the opposite side. Chimney was holding Maddie tightly as she lay in a restless sleep. Her tear streaked face was void of fresh tears finally. Eddie shook his head at the poor Buckley sibling luck. 

"What else is this poor boy going to have to face? He's been through too much already." Hen's voice snapped him out of thoughts. 

"Hen, I don't even want to know what else he's going to have to deal with." Chimney whispered, mindful of the sleeping Maddie. 

"Whatever it is, we'll help him through it." Bobby said as Eddie nodded in agreement. 

A silence fell over the group before Athena spoke, "This is all my fault. Him laying here in another hospital bed, that's on me." She tearfully admitted. 

"'Thena none of this is your fault." Hen said, reaching over to grab the woman's hand. 

"She's right." Chimney and Josh said at the same time, quirking their eyebrows at each other. 

"Athena, you did nothing wrong. You did everything you could to keep him safe." Bobby said, tightening his grip on his wife. 

"I just- I should've gotten more officers, more security. I should've done more to keep Buckaroo safe." She said guiltily, reaching one hand to place the blanket that covered Buck's scarred leg in a motherly fashion. 

"Buck's not going to blame you. He's not going to blame any of us. The kid's damn forgiving like that." Bobby said fondly. 

"Yeah, he really is." Eddie said, gazing at his boyfriend's face. 

His eyes made their way to Buck's newest injuries. He had bumped his head when he had been pulled out of the bed, and the doctors had managed to stitch it close. The other injury, the gash in Buck's arm, had been covered with a stark white bandage that stood out against the mottle of bruises that littered his skin. Buck's eadrums had taken a beating due to the secession of the gunshots, so the doctors put small tufts of cotton in his ears to muffle any loud sounds. He stared at Buck lovingly as the man's chest moved up and down, bringing Eddie a strange sense of comfort. 

A silence fell over the group. The beeping monitors filled the air with noise, reassuring everyone that Buck was in stable condition. 

Suddenly, a gasp escaped Buck's lips. 

"Buck?" Eddie asked. 

Buck shot up with a start, the nasal cannula almost ripping out as his breaths came out in short gasps. His cloudy eyes darted across the room, seemingly looking for danger. 

"Buck, Evan, it's alright. You're safe now, it's okay." Eddie explained. 

"W-what? Wh-where?" Buck asked. 

"You're in a new room, Buck. You're still in the hospital, but you're safe, okay? It's okay now, we're here." Eddie brought his hands up to Buck's face to aid in calming him down. 

"Shh, shh, baby it's alright." 

"Eds." Buck choked out.

His breaths still had not returned to a normal rhythm, worrying Eddie. Maddie had startled awake from the commotion, watching as her baby brother struggled to calm down.

"Buck, you've got to breathe baby, just breathe." 

Eddie pulled Buck to his chest, hoping that hearing his heartbeat could calm the younger man down like it normally did. He shot a look of gratitude to the others in the room. He pressed light kisses into Buck's hair as the man slowly got his breathing back to normal. The younger man had reached his free hand up, clutching Eddie's bicep like a lifeline. Once his breaths had gotten mostly regulated, Eddie pulled him back, placing his forehead on his. 

"It's okay cariño. You're safe now." He reassured. 

The couple sat there for a few moments, Eddie whispering reassurances to Buck as he fought to control his breathing. Eddie pulled back, allowing Buck to flop back onto the pillow as he gripped his hand tightly. 

"Wh-what happened?" Buck asked after a few moments. 

"Kingsley attacked you again." Bobby said, beating Eddie to the punch. 

Memories came flooding back to Buck all at once. He closed his eyes as he saw Dr. Stark getting shot point blank, his lifeless body falling to the ground. 

"He sh-shot that doctor because of me. That doctor is dead and it's all my fault." Buck choked out, tears getting the best of him as they streamed down his face. 

"No, no Buck that is not true. It is not your fault sweetheart." Athena said. 

Buck broke out into sobs as Eddie pulled him into another embrace. This time however, the others joined in. They kept a steady stream of reassurances, telling Buck that no one blamed him for what happened. Buck's muffled cries eventually reduced into soft sniffles. 

After a few minutes, the group pulled back, resuming their seats by Buck's bedside. Eddie didn't let go right away, holding his boyfriend for a few more moments before pulling back. He gripped his hand tightly as if he was going to disappear. 

"Why?" Buck whispered.

"What?" Josh asked. 

"Why did he do it? All of it." 

"We're not entirely sure yet Buckaroo. We know that Kingsley had a history or sexual assault and violence. I talked to some people and found his record had been expunged but I managed to have some people track down the original that had never been erased. Looks like Kingsley had some friends on the inside to get his record expunged any time a new complaint showed up and it worked for the most part. The fire department would've been none the wiser about anything he did." Athena explained. 

Buck nodded, tightly closing his eyes for a moment as he brought his hand up to massage the bridge of his nose, trying to rid the headache that was coming on. 

"So what about the doctor?" Josh asked for him. 

"Apparently Kingsley and Dr. Stark had been in contact for quite some time now. We think that Kingsley called to see if you were here and he told him. Kinglsey manipulated him into sneaking him in using the lab coat." 

Buck nodded understanding before asking, "But Dr. Stark," he gulped at the poor man's name, "he tried to back out at the last second, told Kingsley it was wrong." 

Athena nodded, grimacing at it. "Yeah, we think that Dr. Stark didn't know the full extent of what he was planning." 

Everyone else 'oooh' in understanding as it was laid out for him. But Buck had one more question. 

"What about Johnston, where is he?" 

"He's in custody. Trust me, my captain's making sure personally that that bastard doesn't get out." Athena answered. 

Bcuk let out a sigh of relief. Jesus, all of this for him? He didn't understand any of this. More flashes of the doctor hitting the ground passed in front of his eyes. He saw dead all the time, but seeing something like this? Cold blooded murder is not just something you could get over like that. 

A few beats passed before Maddie spoke, "Evan, none of this is your fault. Not a bit of it." 

Buck nodded, averting his eyes from everyone, instead deciding a loose thread on the blanket was suddenly interesting. 

"Buck.. nobody blames you for what happened." Eddie said. 

He swallowed harshly, nodding. He chewed on his lip, his tongue tracing the cut there. He yawned, a sudden wave of exhaustion crashing over him.

"Buck, you can rest now. You're safe, and we're not going anywhere, I promise." Eddie said, squeezing Buck's hand. 

Buck shook his head, his heavy eyelids betraying him. "Im fine." He lied. 

"No you're not son. You don't have to be, nobody would be in this position. That's okay." Bobby said. 

Buck nodded, a stray tear escaping his eye. He looked up, meeting everyone's eyes one at a time. They held different looks of worry on their faces, but he found no pity in their eyes. He felt a sense of relief and gratitude towards his family. 

The exhaustion weighed heavier on him as his eyes began to droop. He yawned once more. 

"I love you guys." He said. 

"We love you too Buck, we're not going anywhere, we promise." Eddie said, pressing a kiss to the back of Buck's hand. 

Buck felt light as the pain meds kicked in properly. He drifted off into a hopefully restful sleep, praying he would have no nightmares, but ultimately knowing he would have them for months to come. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit this chapter was a bitch to write. I switched to one tab to check if I spelled a word right, and boom, gone. Then the SECOND time it deleted i accidentally hit the freaking reload button as I was going to save it as a draft which that second rendition was really fucking good ahh. Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed the chapter. I'm thinking there may be like 1-3 chapters left, but lemme know what y'all think. :)


	10. Hatred Of Hospitals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck was so tired. He thought the getting attacked part of the whole thing was bad, but this.., the nightmares, the scars, being in the hopsital for so long; it was even worse than he imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks again for the feedback on this story and I appreciate you guys immensely. On to Chapter 10 :)

* * *

"I hate hospitals." Buck said from the bed. 

Eddie's head snapped up from where he was mindlessly scrolling on his phone. Everyone had left to go there respective places a few hours ago, expressing that they would be back as soon as they could. Josh had been called into work due to a co-worker being out sick and they were understaffed. Bobby had gone to talk to the fire captain and Athena had gone to the precinct to ensure the case was going smoothly. Hen had gone to see her wife and kids, knowing that Karen was probably exhausted and missed her. Chimney had taken a reluctant Maddie home, knowing her and the baby needed rest in an actual bed. 

"Me too." Eddie finally said after a moment. 

Buck smiled slightly, his sunken eyes meeting Eddie's loving brown ones. Eddie took in Buck's face for a moment, pale and tired looking. His skin hadn't gained much color overnight, and his normally stunning blue eyes were haunted looking. His cheekbones stuck out in the harsh lighting of the room. The deep colors of the bruises and cuts shined on his face. 

Buck took a deep breath, wincing as it aggravated the stitches on his side. He brought his free hand up to scrub at his face, rubbing his thumb and middle finger along his temples. He gazed at Eddie, his worried face staring back at him. Buck noticed the tired lines around his eyes and the dark circles that accompanied them. 

"Are you okay Eddie?" Buck inquired. 

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Eddie shot back. 

Buck huffed out a laugh at that. "Humor me." He said, putting his best puppy dog eyes on. 

Eddie smiled. "Fine. I'm worried about you Buck, I'm really damn worried about you." He said, closing his eyes as he brought Buck's hand up to his mouth, kissing it. 

"Eds," Buck said, squeezing Eddie's hand in return, "it's going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere this time." 

"Buck, something terrible happened to you and I don't know how to help." Eddie admitted tearfully. 

Buck scooted up on the bed, albeit painfully. "You just being here is helping." 

"Bu-" Eddie started. 

"No buts Eddie. You being here," Buck gestured wildly to the hospital room, "is more than enough. I promise." 

God, Eddie still could never believe how he had gotten so lucky with a man like Buck. He had known from the moment they had pulled a grenade out of that man's leg that they would be something. He hadn't known exactly what then, but in this moment, he couldn't be more grateful for what they were. 

"I just," Eddie's voice cracked "I just really want to help you." 

"Come here." Buck said, scooching over and patting the bed. 

Eddie looked at him quizzically for a moment before taking off his shoes and jacket and placing them on the chair. He carefully climbed into the bed, placing him behind Buck, allowing the younger man to lean back on him. He gently placed his arms around Buck's waist, mindful of his bruises. One his hands searched out for Buck's right one, feeling it intertwine with his after a moment. 

"I'm scared Eddie." Buck said honestly, leaning his head back into Eddie's shoulder. 

"Of what?" 

"The nightmares, mainly. After the truck, the tsunami.." he paused for a moment, "I had really bad nightmares. Wake up in a cold sweat not knowing where you are kind of nightmares. I just.. I know they're going to come back with a vengeance and I'm scared of that." 

Eddie placed a delicate kiss to the side of Buck's head. "I'm going to be right there next to you every night I can, I promise." 

"I know you will Eds. I just.. feel kind of lost, you know? Like I don't want everyone tiptoeing around me because of what happened but everything isn't the way it was before anymore." He admitted. 

Eddie let out a soft sigh. "I know Buck. Everyone's worried about you too. Maddie could barely stop crying the whole time. Bobby and Athena are worried about you like they would worry about May and Harry." 

Buck let out a soft huff at that. 

"Hen, Chim, and Josh are worried too. I'm pretty sure I saw Josh googling tips on how to make you feel safer in public settings and such." Eddie said, smiling at the memory. 

Buck smiled at the older man's antics. "Yeah, sounds like him. Ever since his attack he's been prone to do stuff like that." 

Eddie grimaced at that memory. He buried his nose in Buck's curls, feeling the younger man push back into him slightly. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments with one another, before a knock on the door startled them. 

"Mr. Buckley?" The nurse from before called out as she walked into the room. 

"Nurse Taplin, nice to see you again." Buck said smiling. 

"Hey Buck." She said smiling. "I'm just here to check your vitals. I'm glad to see that you're awake." 

"Thank you. Oh, this is my boyfriend Eddie." He said, gesturing back to the man. 

"Hi, nice to meet you ma'am." Eddie said, getting up from behind Buck to shake the woman's hand. 

"Oh no need for ma'am. It's good to meet you too Eddie." She shook his hand and went to check the man's vitals. Eddie stepped politely out of the way as he watched the woman work. 

She readjusted the IV in Buck's hand before checking the monitors. She marked a few things on Buck's chart, her eyes flitting to screens every so often. 

"You're blood pressure is a little low but that's nothing to worry about. I'm going to slightly up your dosage and it should help you feel a bit better." She said as she adjusted the drip. 

"Thank you." Buck said. 

"Of course. You two are adorable by the way." She said, nodding at the pair. 

"Thank you nurse. For everything." Eddie said, smiling at the woman as she left the room. 

They were quiet for a few moments as Buck got comfortable in the bed. 

"Come back babe." Buck whispered, patting the bed once more. 

"Yeah yeah." Eddie said, smiling as he settled in with his boyfriend. 

Eddie held the man for a few minutes, taking in the sight of the man. He looked unwell, but Eddie thought he was still handsome as ever. Buck shifted his head on Eddie's shoulder, his eyes coming up to meet the other man's. The shocking blue had slightly returned to his eyes as he leaned against Eddie. 

"Kiss me." Buck whispered. 

"Are you sure? We don't have to do anything if you're not ready, Buck." Eddie said. 

"I trust you Eds. Always have and always will." He assured. 

Eddie nodded, closing his eyes. They both leaned in. Their lips touched and Buck felt safer than he ever had in that moment. They kissed tenderly for a few moments, Eddie's hand came to rest on Buck's cheek, lightly brushing over the bruised flesh. The heart monitor spiked slightly as they deepened the kiss. 

They pulled away after another few moments, gazing into each other's eyes. The leaned their foreheads against each other, their breaths mingling. 

"I love you Eddie." 

"I love you more Buck." 

Eddie pulled Buck closer into his chest. The monitor returned to normal as Buck calmed down. They layed there together, Eddie rubbing his hands softly up and down Buck's upper body. Buck let out a deep sigh as he snuggled closer. Eddie pressed a few kisses into the top of his hair. 

"Eds?" 

"Yeah Buck?" Eddie asked, looking down at him. 

"Thank you." He breathed out.

"For what?" 

"Everything. Just thank you." He said softly. 

"I'm here no matter what Buck. I'm never leaving you again, I promise." 

"Same here Eds. I love you no matter what." 

"I love you too Buck. So, so, much. Let's get some sleep." 

"It's the middle of the day." Buck countered despite a yawn escaping him.

"Yeah, but we're both tired. Plus, I'm comfy like this." Eddie said playfully. 

"Fine, but if I drool on you, don't blame me." Buck huffed, glad that the conversation was taking a lighter turn. 

"Yeah, yeah. Get some sleep Buck, I'm right here." 

"You too Eds. Love you." 

"Love you too Buck." 

Buck drifted off first, his breath evening out. Eddie focused on the puffs of air hitting his neck as he too, drifted off into a deep sleep. 

A few hours later, the group, except Josh, returned to Buck's room. They all exchanged caring looks as they settled quietly down into their seats. 

The men were none the wiser when Athena snapped a few cute pictures of them, one capturing the thin line of drool that escaped Buck's mouth onto Eddie's henley. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, I really enjoyed this chapter. It was a nice refresher just to have some personal interaction between the boys. Anyway, I hope y'all liked it and I hope I delivered on the fluff that was requested ❤


	11. They Know That It's Almost Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie glanced over to where Buck sat in the passenger seat. He had finally gotten out of the hospital, but his skin was still slightly pale. His body slightly shook from the unusually crisp air of the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter, it was really nice to write fluff for the boys. On to this chapter :)

* * *

**2 Days Later...**

Buck was grateful as he settled into what would hopefully be his last hospital room for a while. He had finally gotten out of ICU and would only be stuck in the hospital for a few more days. Everyone had been coming and going, having to talk to the cops and everyone assigned on the case and being with their respective families. 

Buck sighed as he melted into the bed. He had finally convinced Eddie to go home, take a shower, and see Chris. He had been a constant the past couple days and Buck couldn't be more grateful. He just.. needed to be alone for a little bit. He needed to think. 

A knock at the door startled him, a smile gracing his face when he saw Bobby at the door with a bag of takeout. 

"Hey 'Cap." Buck greeted. 

"Hey son. How are you feeling?" Bobby asked, setting the food down onto the bed. 

An even bigger smile broke out on his face when he realized it was the Italian he had intended to get with Eddie before everything had happened. 

"I'm fine, Bobby." Buck said, averting his eyes from the older man's gaze. 

"I should probably rephrase that. How are you doing, honestly?" 

Buck huffed out a sigh. "I'm.." 

Bobby sat down in the free chair beside Buck. He placed a caring hand on his arm and forced Buck to look him in the eyes. 

"You can tell me Buck. Whatever it is, we're all here for. Every single one of us. I promise." Bobby said adamantly 

"Bobby, I-I.. it hurts. What they did, to me and that doctor, it's all my fault." He whispered the last part quietly. 

"Oh kid, no. None of what happened is your fault. You did not kill that doctor, Kingsley did." 

"Because of me Bobby! If I," he paused. " if I didn't 'flaunt my body' or act so full of myself maybe this could've all been avoided. I was stupid!" He yelled. 

"Buck.. who told you that?" 

"W-what?" 

"Who told you that you 'flaunt your body?' That's not true." Bobby said.

"They did. Johnston and Kinglsey." 

Bobby sighed, rubbing between his eyes. "You don't do anything like that Buck. You didn't lead anyone on or do anything wrong, believe me."

Buck nodded, swallowing his tears back. "I just don't want to cause more harm than I already have." 

Bobby shook his head. "Buck, you didn't do anything wrong, I swear. This is on them, not you." 

Buck swallowed thickly. He felt bad for making Bobby and everyone else worry. He didn't know what to do. After the truck, he was depressed and had lost everything. Then the embolism and the tsunami and the lawsuit, but this was.. different he supposed. 

"I'm sorry Bobby. I just hate worrying everyone."

"That's what family is for, Buck." 

Tears escaped Buck's eyes at that. 

"I've never had a family before." He whispered. 

"You do now. Come here kid." Bobby put his arms out, gesturing for Buck to hug him. 

Buck immediately took the invitation, launching himself into his captain's arms. He sobbed for everything he had lost in his life. For every victim, for every person he had let down, and for the inside of every hospital room he's seen in the last year or so. 

"It's going to be okay." Bobby placed a fatherly kiss on Buck's head as the younger man drifted off into sleep.

* * *

**3 Days Later..**

3 days after his talk with Bobby, Buck had been thinking a lot. Eddie had come back and had been a constant companion at his bedside. He kept a consistent stream of chatter going, a rarity for him. He had talked about Chris and his schoolwork and Abuela's new recipes. Buck was thankful for it and the fact that his family had been stopping in so often. He had worried so much that it would be like it was after the truck, no visits or calls. 

Buck was grateful that he was getting out soon. The bleak hospital walls had always scared him, knowing they held death within them. Buck sighed as he sat on the bed. Eddie had stepped out to talk to the doctor, and everyone else was at work. He closed his eyes for a few moments, the attack and Dr. Stark's murder flasing in front of him. His eyes flew open as the memories kept coming, his breath coming out in short bursts. 

He worked to calm himself down before Eddie came back. His eyes shot to the heart monitor as it beeped louder, knowing it would attract the nurses if it got too much. Buck gripped the sheets tightly between his hands, heaving breaths in through his mouth. 

After a few minutes, he was finally able to calm himself down. He hiccuped in some breaths as he wiped a few stray tears from his face. He smoothed down his gown and the blankets as Eddie walked into the room, his favorite nurse trailing him with a wheelchair. 

"Guess who just got discharged?" Eddie said in a sing-song voice. 

"Really?" Buck asked. 

"Yep. You are ready to go Mr. Buckley. I'll let you get changed and then you can get on out of here." The nurse said, her ponytail bobbing behind her as she nodded her head positively. 

"Thank you." Buck said, smiling at both of them. 

"I'll be back in a bit." 

Eddie came over to Buck, wrapping his arms around him. He noticed the slight flush on Buck's face, bringing out his still pale complexion. 

"How you doing, babe?" Eddie asked. 

"Im okay. I'm just ready to go home. I want to see Chris and sleep in our bed." Buck muttered tiredly. 

"I know, come on let's get you dressed." Eddie said, moving to help him get dressed. 

"I can do it myself Eddie, I'm not incapable." Buck huffed. 

"I know just.. please let me help you. I need to do something." Eddie whispered. 

Buck nodded. His eyes slip closed as he allowed Eddie to manhandle him into a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Buck was thankful he had brought such thick clothing for him to wear. He knew he'd lost weight with the cast on his leg from the truck, and he figured it was bound to happen again with this new cast and sling. The weight loss always made him so damn cold. 

"Alright, easy, easy." Eddie said as he helped ease Buck down into the wheelchair. 

Buck let out a huff as he situated into the chair. "Thanks Eds." He said as he ran a hand down his tired face. 

The nurse came in a few minutes later, a smile on her face. She told the men they were ready to leave as she guided them out of the hospital. 

"Thank you, for everything." Buck said, smiling at the woman. 

"Of course, get some rest, okay? I'll see you again soon when you get your stitches out." She smiled. 

Buck bid her a farewell as Eddie helped him get into his truck. He threw the crutches the hospital provided in the back seat of the car. Buck sighed as he realized he would now have two sets of crutches. He watched as Eddie climbed into the driver's seat, throwing a soft glance at him. 

He started the car and then pulled out of the parking lot. He was glad to see the hospital grow smaller in the side mirror. 

* * *

Eddie kept sneaking glances at Buck as he drove them home. His skin was still pale but had regained some color. Buck shivered at the crisp chill of the morning air. 

Eddie was glad that he could finally bring him home. Despite being there very little, anytime he ran there to get anything, it had always felt empty. He had arranged for Carla to drop Christopher off after school, knowing that he was itching to see his Buck. 

"Hey Buck?" 

"Hmm?" Buck groaned, his tired eyes flitting up at him.

"We're home baby. Let's go." 

They worked together to get him into the house, Eddie making a mental note to grab Buck's crutches later. He helped him settle into bed, watching as Buck breathed in the familiarity of the detergent they used. 

"Thank you Eddie." 

"No need. You want anything?" 

"A shower, but I don't think I have the energy for that right now." The admission made Eddie's heart clench tightly. 

Eddie left for a few moments to grab Buck some water and his pain pills. He locked all the doors and windows, his paranoia getting the best of him. He walked into the bedroom and gave Buck the medicine. He took it gratefully before slumping back against the headboard. 

"You know, Chris has been dying to see you." Eddie said as he lay down next to Buck, pulling him close. He only had a few more days off, and he wanted to savour every moment of it. 

"Yeah I miss the little guy." Buck said, a small smile gracing his face. 

They sat together for a few hours, chatting about anything and everything, keeping the conversation light. Buck drifted off to sleep after a little while, the pain meds making him sleepy. Eddie checked his watch, noting he had a little while before Chris came home. He grabbed the remote and turned a show on low, running his hand through Buck's curls. 

* * *

Buck awoke slowly and comfortably in the warmth of the recognizable sheets. He heard the telltale signs of soft whispering flowing in from the living room. 

Buck carefully got up, mindful of his stitches and aching body. He looked at the crutches leaned against the foot of the bed, sending a mental 'thank you' to Eddie for putting them there. He put one under his good arm and slowly hobbled his way into the living room where his boys were. 

"Just remember buddy, Bucky is hurt so you just got to be careful, okay?" 

"Okay dad, I can do that." Christopher said, his cute curls bouncing in determination. 

Buck's heart soared at the love he had for the boy. 

"Hey buddy." Buck called out. 

"Bucky!" Christopher yelled, hastily grabbing his crutches and rushing over to Buck. 

He placed his small arms around Buck, gripping him in a loving hug. Buck set his crutch against the wall so he could run his hand through the boy's hair. 

"I'm okay Chris. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." 

"I'm so glad you're okay." Chris whispered. 

Buck felt a small wet patch beginning to grow on the bottom of his sweatshirt. He gently coaxed the boy into sitting down, grinning like an idiot when the kid snuggled up against him. 

"You're gonna be okay, kid." Chris said, placing a delicate hand on Buck's face. 

"Yeah, I am." And for the first time since the attack, Buck believed it. 

"You guys wanna watch a movie while I get dinner started?" Eddie finally spoke up. 

"Oh lord, your cooking?" Buck said, Chris letting a little giggle out at that. 

"Oh shush, you guys just relax. It won't take long." 

Eddie came over, placing a kiss on both his boys noses. He rested his forehead against Buck's for a moment. 

"It's going to be okay." Eddie reassured. 

"It will be." Buck agreed. 

Eddie went to the kitchen, leaving a smiling Buck and Chris in his wake. Buck listened as Chris rambled on about school, and in that moment, he could forget about everything for a little while and just love his boys. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand there it is yall! So I'm thinking maybe 1 or 2 more chapters but let me know what y'all think! Don't forget to comment!
> 
> -Also, theres this song called Still Feel by half alive and it is so good!!! You have to watch the video though it is an actual masterpiece!


	12. I'm Always Wondering, If It's Ever Gonna End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck was tired and sore. His body was healing at an okay pace, but damn.. did it hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! I'm super sorry I haven't updated in the last few days, I just had some stuff to deal with. Anyway, I'm thinking this chapter and one more will conclude this story! Thanks for everyone who have read so far and please continue to comment! Enough talking, on to the chapter folks.
> 
> -Also, this chapter also has a lot of dialogue, sorry if you don't prefer it!

* * *

The days both dragged and flew by for Buck. It had already been a full two weeks since he had gotten out of the hospital. 

Eddie had to go back to work a few days after Buck got out of the hospital. Buck couldn't really do much on his own considering the large, encompassing cast on his foot. He sighed as he sat alone in the house, running a hand through his blond locks. The _curls were pretty much untameable today_ , Buck thought. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. 

His eye bags were large and stood out against his fair skin, the low amount of sleep he was getting was apparent. His birthmark shone brightly even against the healing bruises and cuts. He had finally gotten the stitches taken out of his head and face gashes, but the stab wound was still healing somewhat slowly due to his body working double time to help the rest of him. His frame was thinner and Eddie's sweatshirt was beginning to swallow him whole. He sighed again as he shook the prescription bottle in his hand, knowing the meds would help him, but hesitating because they almost always made him feel sick. 

He sighed again as he downed the recommended dose and hobbled himself into the living room, plopping himself onto the couch. He rotated his left shoulder, wincing as the muscles protested slightly. He had gotten the sling off a few days ago, but still needed to be careful. He could use the crutches, but needed to try and limit the amount of time he was up. He breathed heavily as a wave of pain flashed through him. 

He gritted his teeth as his hand hovered over his phone on the coffee table. The pain roared again and he threw caution to the wind as he began to make his way to Eddie's contact. The phone tumbled out of his grip when he doubled over in pain. A knock at the door startled him as he dropped painfully to his knees. 

"Buckaroo?" Athena's voice called out. 

"'Thena?" Buck said weakly. 

Athena's motherly instincts kicked in as she called out, "Buck, I'm coming in, okay?" 

He let out a weak 'okay' as he heard the sound of keys jingling. Everyone had a copy of keys for Eddie's place and Buck's place in case of an emergency ever since what happened. He heard the door open and shut as Athena's shoes tapped against the floor. 

"Sweetheart." Athena rushed over to him, dropping to her knees beside him as she placed a comforting hand on his face. 

Buck leaned into the touch as he closed his eyes tightly. He felt her thumb caress his cheek, being careful of the healing flesh. He breathed through gritted teeth as the pain began to slowly receed. 

"Buckaroo, what happened?" Athena asked softly as she helped him up to settle on the couch. 

"Just the pain. It got a little much." He admitted. 

"Do you need me to get your pain meds?" 

"Just took them, I just need a minute please." He breathed out. 

Athena nodded her head as she kept a steady presence next to him. He worked through the pain for a few minutes, relishing in the comfort the woman provided. He sighed in relief as his meds began to slowly kick in. She helped him lean back, his head resting against the cushion gently. 

"You alright?" She asked. 

"Yeah, thank you." He assured, cracking his eyes open. 

He suddenly realized that Athena's being here wasn't expected. He furrowed his eyebrows as his addled mind began to slowly catch up. 

"I thought you had a shift today, 'Thena?" He cocked his head to the side. 

She rubbed her hand over Buck's leg, "I did. But, I received some news and they allowed me to take the rest of the day to off to handle it all." 

"Is everyone okay?"

Athena smiled at Buck's selflessness. "Everyone's fine Buck, I promise. It's about you." 

"Me?" 

"Well, what happened." She said sadly. 

"Oh." Buck said, averting his eyes. 

"You're not going to have to go through a full trial." She said, with a small smile. 

"What?" Buck asked, wondering if he heard right. 

"Johnston decided to plead guilty, and Kingsley did too due to 'altered mental state,' so they took a plea deal that if he pled guilty he would be able to go to an institution that would help him, instead of jail." Athena explained. 

"That's good right?" Buck said, disbelief beginning to take over. 

"Yeah, it's really good Buck. Nobody has to deal with a full trial." 

Buck nodded, sensing a but coming. 

Athena noticed his prompting and continued, "But, the court requests that you make a victim impact statement." 

Buck's eyes widened. "Like Josh did?" 

"Yes, like he did." 

"Why?" 

"It will allow for a proper sentencing, their attorneys tried to plead for less but the jury would like to hear your side regardless. Plus, Buck.. I think it will bring closure to you. Help you heal." 

"I don't know if I can face them again." He whispered. 

Athena bit her lip, tears springing to her eyes for the boy. "I know, and you don't have to do it if you don't want to. I think it could be good for you. And we will be there the whole time, I can promise you that sweetheart." 

Buck nodded, biting his own lip. "When would the hearing be?" 

"Next Thursday. They're getting the details in order but that's the date." 

Buck nodded again, thankful that Athena was telling him this. "Have you told the others?"

"No, I wanted to come to you first." She said, grabbing his cold hands and placing them in hers. 

Buck nodded gratefully. "I want to talk to Eddie first, but I think I'll do it." He swallowed. 

"Okay sweetheart, just let me know whenever you want, okay? There's no rush. Maybe talk to Josh, get his opinion on it?" 

"Yeah, yeah I will." He paused for a moment. "I just want to start actually healing Athena." He said quietly. 

"Oh Buck, come here." 

She took the boy into a motherly embrace, her hands rubbing gently up and down his back. 

"You deserve to be happy." 

"Thank you.. for everything. I know you might blame yourself for what happened but I don't. I promise." 

Athena smiled. "Just like it's not yours Buck. But thank you, I needed to hear that." 

They stayed in their hug for a few more minutes, savoring the tender moment. Athena pulled back, placing a small, soft kiss on Buck's forehead. 

"Is it okay if I go talk to the others?" She asked. 

"Yeah, yeah. Please." He said. 

Athena nodded, placing another kiss on his forehead before standing up. She leaned down to hug him before grabbing a blanket and tucking him in. She moved his crutches, propping them against the arm at the end of the couch. She picked up his phone, placing it on the coffee table. She took stock of his unusually small form on the couch. She sat on the corner of the table, placing a hand on Buck's cheek.

"Get some rest Buck." She said fondly. 

"Thanks 'Thena." 

She squeezed his shoulder once more before tucking the blanket even tighter around him. Her motherly instincts kicked in as she grabbed a glass of water for Buck. He smiled at her antics before shooing her out, ensuring her that he was fine. 

"Love you 'Thena!" He yelled as she went to leave. 

"Love you too Buck!" She smiled, before closing the door and locking it. 

* * *

Buck awoke comfortably when he heard the keys jingling in the lock. He yawned, carefully stretching his arms above him. He sat up, swinging his legs over the cushions gently. He reached for his crutches, placing them under his arms before heaving himself off the couch. 

He smiled when he saw Eddie come through the door. He watched as he gently closed the door and placed his bag on the ground. 

"Hey Eds." Buck said, his throat dry from his nap. 

"Hey Buck." Eddie breathed, coming over and wrapping his arms around Buck. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, reveling in each other's grip. Eddie ran a mindful hand through Buck's curls as he supported him with a firm grip around his waist. Buck kept his arms around Eddie, rubbing his hands up and down his back, kneading some of the tension out of his muscles. Eddie kissed Buck's head, before guiding his face up to meet his and planted a soft peck on his lips. 

"Where's Chris?" Buck asked, noticing the little guy wasn't there. 

"He's at an impromptu sleepover with Abuela." Eddie explained as he helped Buck down to the couch. 

Buck sighed as realized. "Eddie..." 

"I just wanted us to be able to focus on each other. I didn't want to have to wait to talk." He placed his hands around Buck's face, gently cradling it. 

Buck nodded, licking his dry lips. "Okay. Athena told everyone, right?" 

"Yeah she did. If you don't want to do it, you don't have to. But I will back whatever choice you make." 

Buck swallowed thickly, "I think I want to do it. I'm going to talk to Josh, see what he says." 

Eddie nodded, running a gentle thumb across Buck's cheek. "If you want to do it, then I'm right here with you. I will be here every step of the way." 

Buck nodded, casting his eyes downward. "I don't know if I can face them again." He whispered. 

Eddie brought him to his chest, rocking them slowly. "You don't have to." 

"But I do. I owe that much to Dr. Stark's family. To the poor cop Kingsley attacked. I owe it to them." 

Eddie smiled at his thoughts for everyone else. "What about you Buck?

"I want.., need closure." Buck said. 

Eddie nodded, "You deserve it Buck. I'll be with you every step of the way, I promise." 

Buck leaned in closer to Eddie, breathing out a small sigh of relief. 

"I'm going to go take a quick shower, why don't you call Josh?" Eddie said. 

"Okay, I love you." 

"I love you too." 

Eddie got up, mindful of Buck's crutches. Buck watched as he walked into the bedroom, smiling at his boyfriend's back. He sighed, grabbing his phone as he dialed Josh's number.

* * *

"Hello?" Josh's voice rang out. 

"Hey Josh, it's me Buck." 

"Hey Buck! What's up?" 

"Um, has Athena told you yet?" 

"Um no? I just got off a shift. Is everything okay?" The concern was clear in the older man's voice. 

"Yeah, yeah it's all good. Um.. Kingsley and Johnston pled guilty and the court wants me to provide a victim impact statement at the hearing." Buck spoke quickly. "I- I need your advice. If you would, please." 

He heard Josh let out a soft chuckle on the other end of the line. "Buck, slow down. Of course I'll help you." 

Buck let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." 

"So, I should do it right?" 

"That's up to you Buck, but I would. It brought me a sense of closure, and it helped me begin to heal." 

"I want to do it, I'm just... I don't know if I can face them again." 

"It's hard Buck, but it's worth it. You just have to be honest. Tell them how you feel, look those bastards in the eyes and tell them that they haven't won." 

"I'm doing it. I'm going to do it." 

"Good Buck. Believe me, it's a hard process, but you are one of the strongest men I know. You have everyone backing you up." 

"Thank you Josh. For everything." 

"Of course Buck, you're my friend. Plus, your sister would probably kill me if I didn't help out a little." 

Buck let out a laugh at that, knowing Maddie would totally do something like that. 

"Get some rest Buck." 

"I will, you too Josh. I'll let everyone know the details soon." 

"Bye Buck. 

"Bye Josh, thanks again." 

Buck hung up the phone with a small smile on his face. He leaned back against the cushions, closing his eyes. He heard the shower shut off a few minutes later, but didn't move to get up. He smelled the comforting scent of Eddie's body wash as he sat next to him on the couch. 

"So?" Eddie asked as he held Buck. 

"I'm going to do it. 

"I'm proud of you baby." 

Buck snuggled in closer to Eddie, knowing that next week would anxiety and fear, but that it would be okay. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is! I think there's going to be 1-2 chapters left, and I thank everyone for reading. Please keep commenting it makes me super happy! 
> 
> -Also, I know this is probably super inaccurate in terms of court preceedings and I'm working to do better in understanding it because I am very interested in law :)


	13. Is This The End, Or Just The Beginning?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck was shaking as he smoothed his hair in the mirror. He straightened his suit jacket. Wow, he was really doing this, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you so much for being so kind to this story and I'm glad so many of you have enjoyed. On to THE final chapter!

* * *

In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. _Breathe Buck, just breathe._

Buck took deep shaky breaths as he stood in front of the mirror. Eddie was in the shower as he was getting himself ready. He ran an unsteady hand through his curls. He took a seat on the edge of the bed as he struggled to get his ever growing anxiety under control. 

_Breathe Buck, you can do it._ He thought to himself when he heard the shower turn off. He didn't want to worry Eddie more than he already has. 

He clenched his eyes tightly, inhaling a few breaths before getting up. He was mindful of his bad ankle as he stood in front of the mirror. He heard the bathroom door open, the warm steam cascading down his skin as it billowed out. He watched as Eddie shot him a soft look as he ruffled his hair dry with a towel. Buck smiled, turning his attention back to straightening his collar. 

He jumped violently when he felt an unexpected hand on his shoulder. 

"Hey, hey it's just me babe. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Eddie said, removing his hand from his dress shirt clad shoulder. 

Buck grabbed his hand before he could take it away, bringing it back to his shoulder, putting his hand on top of his. "It's not your fault Eds. I'm just jumpy is all." He said quietly. 

"You can do this." Eddie whispered. 

Buck nodded gratefully as his boyfriend moved to get the rest of his outfit on. Today was court, and he was.. nervous to say the least. He took a few more deep breaths, trying to untense his muscles as he heard Eddie shuffling behind him. He straightened his collar again before running a hand through his hair, trying to make it more manageable. He turned around, grabbing his suit jacket that was laying on the bed behind him. He carefully put it on, heaving a sigh of relief when his shoulder didn't protest from the movement. 

He smoothed everything down again, the nervousness getting the best of him. He felt Eddie sit down next to him, wrapping a comforting arm around his waist. He leaned against him, his muscles relaxing minutely. Buck placed a small peck on his cheek as he moved to put on his dress shoe. Pain shot through his ribs as they objected to the stretch. Eddie grabbed the shoe from him, kneeling down to put it on his uninjured foot. 

"I got it Buck, don't worry baby." 

"Thanks Eds." Buck huffed, mad at himself that he couldn't do something as simple as putting on a shoe. 

"Buck." Eddie shot him a look, telling him to forget whatever self-deprecating thing he had just thought. 

"What time is it?" Buck asked, trying to change the subject. 

"10:30, we have 20 minutes until we need to leave." 

Buck nodded, wringing his hands together. He blinked a few times, trying to shake the anxiety. He watched as Eddie finished getting ready, sitting next to him as he straightened his own jacket out. 

"You can do this Buck." He said, squeezing the man's hand. 

Buck squeezed back, allowing a small smile to grace his face. He fingered the piece of paper with his statement on it in his pocket, clenching and unclenching his fingers around it. 

"I'm nervous Eds. I'm scared to see them again." 

"I know. But you, Buck, you are so damn strong and you can do this. We're all going to be right there in the gallery, silently cheering you on. And afterwards, we're going to go and get some food, as a family. And then, we're going to come back and relax and wait until our son comes home." 

Hearing those last few words really brought tears to Buck's eyes. "Our son?" 

"Yeah Buck, our son. Christopher loves you so damn much, and so do I. You are our family." Eddie promised, leaning his forehead against his boyfriend's. "I promise." 

They sat there for a few minutes, relishing in the calm before the storm. 

"You ready?" Eddie asked. 

"As I'll ever be." 

* * *

Buck hobbled up to the front of the courthouse, Eddie steadying him with a hand on his back, rubbing his thumb in small circles. He spotted his team and family conversing amongst themselves when they entered the main area. They spotted the couple and moved towards them, Maddie coming up and hugging her brother. She whispered reassurances in his ear before pulling back. 

Buck smiled at the others, making small talk with them. Athena eventually pulled him to the side after a few minutes. 

"Hey Buckaroo, are you ready for this?" The woman asked. 

Buck nodded, swallowing thickly. "Yeah, got my statement right here." He said, pulling the slightly crumpled paper out of his pocket with a careful hand. 

Athena put a comforting hand on his face, thumbing his bright birthmark. She leaned up and placed a kiss on his forehead before bringing him back to the main group. 

"Everyone for the Kingsley and Johnston sentencing come on in." A man came out of a courtroom, waving his hand. 

Buck breathed out a nervous breath as him and his family made their way into the room. His crutches clacked against the ground as they were guided into their chairs. He squeezed Eddie's hand tightly when he heard the doors on the opposite side of the room open. 

He stilled as he saw Johnston and Kingsley brought into the room by the court officers. Everyone else let out varying degrees of anger-filled huffs. He heard Maddie curse under her breath as she saw the men. 

"Ladies and gentleman, thank you all for attending today. Mr. Rodney Johnston and Mr. Jason Kingsley have both plead guilty to the sexual assault and attempted murder of Firefighter Evan Buckley. Mr. Kingsley is also pleading guilty to the murder of Dr. Richard Stark. Mr. Buckley is here today to read an impact statement so that proper sentencing may be given." The judge spoke to the quiet room. 

The prosecuting attorney called Buck up to the stand. Buck gave Eddie's hand one last squeeze before standing up, bringing his crutches beneath his arms and went to the stand. He swore to tell the truth before sitting down and clearing his throat. Everyone had their eyes on the man, his still healing bruises present under the lighting. 

"Mr. Buckley, you may start whenever you are ready." 

"Thank you, Your Honor." Buck took a deep breath, connecting eyes with Eddie and his other family members. 

He pulled the paper out of his pocket, unfolding it. He clenched his jaw, the silence of the courtroom beginning to suffocate him. He made eye contact with Eddie once more before speaking,

"Rodney Johnston, Jason Kingsley, you both decided to assault and attack me in the locker room of the 118 Firehouse. You assaulted me in our workplace, a place that I will have to look at for as long as I work there." He paused, breathing in through his nose. "I had just gotten back from a call with my team, and you decided to take advantage of my exhausted state." 

He saw Eddie across the room with a proud look in his eyes. 

"Johnston, you were once a man I trusted and respected. What you did me will forever weigh on my wellbeing. You caused permanent physical and psychological damage to me and family. You-" he stopped, his breath catching in his throat. "You- forced yourself on me, when I said no many times. You held me down and allowed him to stab me and hurt me in many ways. You disrespected the firehouse that you once represented, and you disrespected me. But I'm not going to let you take anymore away from me. This is the punishment that you deserve, but I hope you get the help that you need." 

A small sob escaped him when he saw Maddie sobbing silently on Chimney's shoulder. He held her as the rest all had different looks on their faces. Hen had tears in her eyes, but was managing to hold it together. Athena and Bobby held tightly onto each other as they watched their son face his attackers. Josh was on the other side of Maddie, holding her free hand tightly as he nodded at Buck. Eddie's eyes shone brightly with both tears and proudness. 

"Kingsley, you were also a man I respected and looked up to once. I thought that you were a good firefighter, and that you were dedicated to helping the world like the rest of us were. But when you took advantage of me, twice, I realized that wasn't the case. You attacked me alongside Mr. Johnston, and you tried to take advantage of my body. I had hours of surgery, and will have weeks of physical therapy to just physically heal from what you did. You murdered Dr. Stark in cold blood, and manipulated him." Buck closed his eyes as the man's face flashed in front of him. 

"That image will always be burned into my brain. That man did not deserve what you did to him. I-" His voice cracked, "I- did not deserve what you did to me. I will have to live with the consequences of what you did to me for the rest of my life. I hope that you can get the help you need, I don't want you to suffer. You were a good man once but you decided to make awful decisions." 

Buck looked down at the paper, pocketing it as he decided to just be as honest as possible toward the end. He looked the men in their eyes, watching as Johnston looked around uninterested in his chair, while Kingsley steeled him with a cold glare. 

"Your choices have impacted not only my life, but the lives of my beloved family members." He stole a glance at the group, his heart cracking at Maddie's tear stained face. "Most of them had to witness your heinous acts, but they have stuck by me through it all. I don't know if they ever will, but I forgive you both." He heard slight gasps of disbelief from many people in the room. 

"I forgive you, because I need to heal. I am a good person, who helps save others on an almost daily basis. I have been through so much in my life and it has weighed me down, but I'm not going to let this. I'm going to have good days and bad days; days that I want to quit, or days when I feel like I'm on top of the world. So I forgive you. I will always be mad and upset at the choices you made, but I forgive you both." He finished his statement. 

He heard a small round of applause break out before the judge put a gentle end to it. 

"You may step down Mr. Buckley. Thank you for your statement." 

"Thank you, Your Honor." Buck slightly smiled at the man. 

He grabbed his crutches and hobbled back to the others, shooting one last glance at the men. He sat down next to Eddie, appreciating the comforting arm around his shoulders as he whispered tender reassurances of a job well done to him. 

The rest of it passed in a blur to Buck, the judge's gavel breaking him out of his trance. 

"We have reached a decision on Mr. Johnston's and Mr. Kingsley's sentencing. I hereby sentence Mr. Johnston to 25 years to life in California State Prison. I hereby sentence Mr Kingsley to life without parole in a rehabilitation center, pending mental state to then be transferred to a state prison. Court is adjourned." The gavel came down again, ending the ordeal for Buck. 

Tears of relief ran down his face once he heard the sentencing. He felt Eddie wrap his arms around him, Buck pushing his head into his chest. He caught the final glance of the men before they were taken through the doors in their handcuffs. 

He heard the others whisper a litany of reassurances as they joined in yet another group hug.

* * *

His tears finally ran dry as he and his family left the courthouse. The rush of fresh air hit his face as he stepped out into the outside world. He watched as people bustled about, each having their own lives to attend to. 

"Buck?" Josh's voice rang out.

"Hey Josh, thanks for being here." Buck said, turning around to face the man. 

"Of course Buck. How are you feeling?" 

"Okay, not entirely fine, but.. better." He said, nodding. 

"I'm glad you did it, Buck. Trust me, it helps in the long run." The older man smiled. 

"Thank you Josh." 

The older man nodded, stepping away when he saw Bobby coming over to the younger man. 

"Son." Bobby said, hugging the young man. "I'm so damn proud of you kid. So damn proud."

"I couldn't have done it without you Bobby. Thank you for everything." 

Bobby embraced him tightly again. "I love you kid." He whispered. 

"I love you too Pops." 

Bobby slightly teared up at the old nickname. It was nice to hear it when the kid wasn't bleeding out on the floor of the locker room. He pulled back, patting him on his shoulder before letting everyone else have their turn. 

Buck hugged and thanked everyone, carefully making his way down the stairs with his family. They reached the bottom before a thought popped into his head. 

"Now, how about some lunch?" 

Everyone let out a laugh as they made their way to their favorite diner.

* * *

Eddie unlocked the door as he and Buck made their way into their home. They had had a great lunch with the team, letting some of the earlier stress go and allowing for a lighter conversation. It had made him happy to see Buck finally laughing, the light returning to his eyes after so many weeks of weariness. 

"Let's get changed and relax until Chris gets home, okay?" Eddie said, guiding Buck into the bedroom. 

"Okay." Buck said softly, collapsing on the bed. 

He allowed Eddie to remove his jacket, combing a hand through his hair. 

"You need help down there?" Eddie joked. 

"I got it, I got it." Buck joked back. 

Eddie caught out a pair of sweats for Buck, and a t-shirt and sweatpants for himself. They got changed in companionable silence, Eddie helping Buck get the pants over his cast. He took the man into the living room, settling him on the couch as he grabbed glasses of water for the both of them. 

He sat down next to him, bringing the man to his chest. He grabbed the remote, throwing on a show as they sat together. 

A few hours passed before a lively Chris came home with a happy Carla trailing. 

"Bucky! Dad!" Chris yelled.

He hugged his father as Buck embraced Carla. 

"Hey sweetheart, how you doing?" The wonderful lady asked.

"I'm okay Carla, thank you." He said honestly. 

She ruffled a hand through his curls as she exclaimed she needed to get home to her family. She bid loving farewells before leaving to boys alone. 

"Hey buddy." Buck said, bringing the kid up onto the couch. 

"Hi Buck." Chris said with a toothy grin. 

Chris apparently seemed to notice Buck's still lingering anxiety. "You're gonna be okay, kid." He said, putting a hand on his cheek. 

Buck smiled and laughed as he hugged their boy. He felt Eddie join the hug and a tear escaped as he understood love and family. They settled down, joking and talking amongst themselves. 

As night drew close, Buck realized something. 

He didn't have an easy road ahead of him, but with his boys and the rest of the family, he was going to be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is!! I'm actually pretty happy with how the ending turned out, and I want to thank everyone for supporting me. Leave prompts in the comments so I can get some more stories started for y'all. Other than 9-1-1, I love Supernatural, 9-1-1 Lone Star (duh), Hawaii Five-0, The Resident, and some other shows. Dean Winchester is another one of my babies ahh. Anyway, thank you all so much, and please continue to comment even though the story is over! ❤❤❤
> 
> If anyone you know or you yourself has been assualted, here are numbers you can call:  
> Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673, also available in an online chat, all hours  
> Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255  
> Dating Abuse and Domestic Violence: 1-866-331-9474  
> General Crisis: Text SUPPORT to 741-741
> 
> Please GET HELP if you or a loved one need it, stay safe everyone

**Author's Note:**

> There is the first chapter everyone! Please let me know what you think and how i can improve my writing!


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